Re: Sentence in COGA Note

The problem is the voicing and tense, not the word count.

 I think the original was clearer. 

.All the best

Lisa Seeman

http://il.linkedin.com/in/lisaseeman/, https://twitter.com/SeemanLisa





---- On Wed, 06 May 2020 17:55:05 +0300 David MacDonald <mailto:david@can-adapt.com> wrote ----




Hi Lisa



The last suggested wording is 23 words:


"Design and content choices can impact usage in ways that make it difficult or impossible for some people with cognitive and learning disabilities.”



 I think this is simpler than the original which is 25 words and this rewrite is putting the focus on the content rather than the author. At any rate, the current document is 200 pages long with plenty of sentences that are not as simple as this. I think this rewrite is fine. 


Cheers,
David MacDonald 

CanAdapt Solutions Inc.

Mobile:  613.806.9005http://www.linkedin.com/in/davidmacdonald100
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  Adapting the web to all users

            Including those with disabilities



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On Tue, May 5, 2020 at 10:05 PM lisa.seeman <mailto:lisa.seeman@zoho.com> wrote:



When possible we try and use easier language. This includes easy common words, short sentences, active voice and remove extra words.
Removing extra words that do not add to the meaning is also important.


All the best

Lisa Seeman

http://il.linkedin.com/in/lisaseeman/, https://twitter.com/SeemanLisa




---- On Tue, 05 May 2020 22:30:52 +0300 mailto:charles.hall@mrm.com  wrote ----

If ‘usage’ is the functional outcome that is impacted, perhaps this is even simpler?

 

“Design and content choices can impact usage in ways that make it difficult or impossible for some people with cognitive and learning disabilities.”

 

So if you stripped away the modifiers, it simply states “choices impact people”.

 

 

Charles Hall // Senior UX Architect

Invited Expert, W3C Accessibility Guidelines Working Group & Silver Task Force

Chair, W3C Inclusive Design for the Immersive Web Community Group

Learning Ambassador, MRM

Member, Global Diversity Coalition, McCann Worldgroup

 

(he//him)

W +1.248.203.8723

M +1.248.225.8179

360 W Maple Rd Third Avenue, Birmingham MI 48009

https://www.mrm.com/

 



 

Cannes Network of the Year

Effie's Most Creatively Effective Global Network 2018, 2019

IPG Agency Inclusion Vanguard – Agency of the Year 2019


Adweek 2019 Global Agency of the Year

 

From: David MacDonald <mailto:david@can-adapt.com>
 Date: Tuesday, May 5, 2020 at 2:54 PM
 To: "Hall, Charles (DET-MRM)" <mailto:charles.hall@mrm.com>
 Cc: Jonathan Avila <mailto:jon.avila@levelaccess.com>, David Fazio <mailto:dfazio@helixopp.com>, WCAG <mailto:w3c-wai-gl@w3.org>, "lisa.seeman" <mailto:lisa.seeman@zoho.com>, WCAG Editors <mailto:team-wcag-editors@w3.org>
 Subject: [EXTERNAL] Re: Sentence in COGA Note

 


HI Charles


 


Would this work for you


 


 


"Design and content choices can impact perceivability, understandability and/or usability in ways that make it difficult or impossible for some people with cognitive and learning disabilities to use this content."


 


Cheers,
 David MacDonald
 

CanAdapt Solutions Inc.

Mobile:  613.806.9005

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  Adapting the web to all users

            Including those with disabilities


 


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On Tue, May 5, 2020 at 2:38 PM Hall, Charles (DET-MRM) <mailto:charles.hall@mrm.com> wrote:


I too like shifting from creator to creation. However, this now implies that the impact is to the content itself versus the impact being on the user.
 It also uses the word content several times.

 

 

Charles Hall // Senior
 UX Architect

Invited Expert, W3C Accessibility Guidelines Working Group & Silver Task Force

Chair, W3C Inclusive Design for the Immersive Web Community Group

Learning Ambassador, MRM

Member, Global Diversity Coalition, McCann Worldgroup

 

(he//him)

W +1.248.203.8723

M +1.248.225.8179

360 W Maple Rd Third Avenue, Birmingham MI 48009

https://www.mrm.com/

 



 

Cannes Network of the Year

Effie's Most Creatively Effective Global Network 2018, 2019

IPG Agency Inclusion Vanguard – Agency of the Year 2019


Adweek 2019 Global Agency of the Year

 

From: Jonathan Avila <mailto:jon.avila@levelaccess.com>
 Date: Tuesday, May 5, 2020 at 2:37 PM
 To: David Fazio <mailto:dfazio@helixopp.com>, David MacDonald <mailto:david@can-adapt.com>
 Cc: WCAG <mailto:w3c-wai-gl@w3.org>, "lisa.seeman" <mailto:lisa.seeman@zoho.com>, WCAG Editors <mailto:team-wcag-editors@w3.org>
 Subject: [EXTERNAL] RE: Sentence in COGA Note
 Resent-From: <mailto:w3c-wai-gl@w3.org>
 Resent-Date: Tuesday, May 5, 2020 at 2:37 PM

 


That wording is fine with me too.

 

Jonathan

 

From: David Fazio <mailto:dfazio@helixopp.com> 
 Sent: Tuesday, May 5, 2020 2:24 PM
 To: David MacDonald <mailto:david@can-adapt.com>
 Cc: WCAG <mailto:w3c-wai-gl@w3.org>; lisa.seeman <mailto:lisa.seeman@zoho.com>; WCAG Editors <mailto:team-wcag-editors@w3.org>
 Subject: Re: Sentence in COGA Note


 

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I do see how you’ve shifted the lens with the verbiage. The new wording is less abrasive. I wouldn’t oppose the change. 

This message was Sent from my iPhone. Please excuse any typographic errors. 





On May 5, 2020, at 11:15 AM, David MacDonald <mailto:david@can-adapt.com> wrote:



Hi all


 


on the call today there was quite a lively discussion around this sentence.


 


CURRENT


"People with cognitive and learning disabilities may not be able to effectively use web content because of the design and content choices of the author."
 
 I've gone back and tried to capture the essence of Lisa's rationale, while steering the focus to the design/content and rather than the author. I also used John Avila's word "impact" rather than "because". 

 


SUGGESTED
 Design and content choices can impact the content in ways that make it difficult or impossible for some users with cognitive and learning disabilities to use this content.

 


Cheers,
 David MacDonald
 

CanAdapt Solutions Inc.

Mobile:  613.806.9005

https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.linkedin.com_in_davidmacdonald100&d=DwMGaQ&c=Ftw_YSVcGmqQBvrGwAZugGylNRkk-uER0-5bY94tjsc&r=FbsK8fvOGBHiAasJukQr6o_PbCmVftVpHNrk4xUDIYM&m=W-Y3PtnjmRiJmsqGzeOiNjKupbVb1jh_vkzz0g-DVrM&s=b_3H2GBGu0u168NpbPeZqP2ukgtNLUQdGAU4g18xOgc&e=
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  Adapting the web to all users

            Including those with disabilities


 


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