Re: Sentence in COGA Note

Hi Lisa

Could you clarify?
It seems to me the suggested solution is in the present tense in the active
voice?

Cheers,
David MacDonald



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On Wed, May 6, 2020 at 12:44 PM lisa.seeman <lisa.seeman@zoho.com> wrote:

> The problem is the voicing and tense, not the word count.
>
> I think the original was clearer.
>
> .All the best
>
> Lisa Seeman
>
> LinkedIn <http://il.linkedin.com/in/lisaseeman/>, Twitter
> <https://twitter.com/SeemanLisa>
>
>
>
>
> ---- On Wed, 06 May 2020 17:55:05 +0300 *David MacDonald
> <david@can-adapt.com <david@can-adapt.com>>* wrote ----
>
>
> Hi Lisa
>
> The last suggested wording is 23 words:
>
> "Design and content choices can impact usage in ways that make it
> difficult or impossible for some people with cognitive and learning
> disabilities.”
>
>
>  I think this is simpler than the original which is 25 words and this
> rewrite is putting the focus on the content rather than the author. At any
> rate, the current document is 200 pages long with plenty of sentences
> that are not as simple as this. I think this rewrite is fine.
>
> Cheers,
> David MacDonald
>
>
>
> *CanAdapt* *Solutions Inc.*
> Mobile:  613.806.9005
>
> LinkedIn
> <http://www.linkedin.com/in/davidmacdonald100>
>
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>
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>
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>
>
>
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> *            Including those with disabilities*
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>
> On Tue, May 5, 2020 at 10:05 PM lisa.seeman <lisa.seeman@zoho.com> wrote:
>
>
> When possible we try and use easier language. This includes easy common
> words, short sentences, active voice and remove extra words.
>
> Removing extra words that do not add to the meaning is also important.
>
> All the best
>
> Lisa Seeman
>
> LinkedIn <http://il.linkedin.com/in/lisaseeman/>, Twitter
> <https://twitter.com/SeemanLisa>
>
>
>
> ---- On Tue, 05 May 2020 22:30:52 +0300* charles.hall@mrm.com
> <charles.hall@mrm.com> * wrote ----
>
> If ‘usage’ is the functional outcome that is impacted, perhaps this is
> even simpler?
>
>
>
> “Design and content choices can impact usage in ways that make it
> difficult or impossible for some people with cognitive and learning
> disabilities.”
>
>
>
> So if you stripped away the modifiers, it simply states “choices impact
> people”.
>
>
>
>
>
> *Charles Hall* // Senior UX Architect
>
> Invited Expert, W3C Accessibility Guidelines Working Group & Silver Task
> Force
>
> Chair, W3C Inclusive Design for the Immersive Web Community Group
>
> Learning Ambassador, MRM
>
> Member, Global Diversity Coalition, McCann Worldgroup
>
>
>
> (he//him)
>
> W +1.248.203.8723
>
> M +1.248.225.8179
>
> 360 W Maple Rd Third Avenue, Birmingham MI 48009
>
> mrm.com <https://www.mrm.com/>
>
>
>
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>
>
>
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>
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>
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>
>
> *From: *David MacDonald <david@can-adapt.com>
> *Date: *Tuesday, May 5, 2020 at 2:54 PM
> *To: *"Hall, Charles (DET-MRM)" <charles.hall@mrm.com>
> *Cc: *Jonathan Avila <jon.avila@levelaccess.com>, David Fazio <
> dfazio@helixopp.com>, WCAG <w3c-wai-gl@w3.org>, "lisa.seeman" <
> lisa.seeman@zoho.com>, WCAG Editors <team-wcag-editors@w3.org>
> *Subject: *[EXTERNAL] Re: Sentence in COGA Note
>
>
>
> HI Charles
>
>
>
> Would this work for you
>
>
>
>
>
> "Design and content choices can impact perceivability, understandability
> and/or usability in ways that make it difficult or impossible for some
> people with cognitive and learning disabilities to use this content."
>
>
>
> Cheers,
> David MacDonald
>
>
>
> *CanAdapt* *Solutions Inc.*
>
> Mobile:  613.806.9005
>
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>
> On Tue, May 5, 2020 at 2:38 PM Hall, Charles (DET-MRM) <
> charles.hall@mrm.com> wrote:
>
> I too like shifting from creator to creation. However, this now implies
> that the impact is to the content itself versus the impact being on the
> user. It also uses the word content several times.
>
>
>
>
>
> *Charles Hall* // Senior UX Architect
>
> Invited Expert, W3C Accessibility Guidelines Working Group & Silver Task
> Force
>
> Chair, W3C Inclusive Design for the Immersive Web Community Group
>
> Learning Ambassador, MRM
>
> Member, Global Diversity Coalition, McCann Worldgroup
>
>
>
> (he//him)
>
> W +1.248.203.8723
>
> M +1.248.225.8179
>
> 360 W Maple Rd Third Avenue, Birmingham MI 48009
>
> mrm.com <https://www.mrm.com/>
>
>
>
> [image: MRM]
>
>
>
> Cannes Network of the Year
>
> Effie's Most Creatively Effective Global Network 2018, 2019
>
> IPG Agency Inclusion Vanguard – Agency of the Year 2019
>
> Adweek 2019 Global Agency of the Year
>
>
>
> *From: *Jonathan Avila <jon.avila@levelaccess.com>
> *Date: *Tuesday, May 5, 2020 at 2:37 PM
> *To: *David Fazio <dfazio@helixopp.com>, David MacDonald <
> david@can-adapt.com>
> *Cc: *WCAG <w3c-wai-gl@w3.org>, "lisa.seeman" <lisa.seeman@zoho.com>,
> WCAG Editors <team-wcag-editors@w3.org>
> *Subject: *[EXTERNAL] RE: Sentence in COGA Note
> *Resent-From: *<w3c-wai-gl@w3.org>
> *Resent-Date: *Tuesday, May 5, 2020 at 2:37 PM
>
>
>
> That wording is fine with me too.
>
>
>
> Jonathan
>
>
>
> *From:* David Fazio <dfazio@helixopp.com>
> *Sent:* Tuesday, May 5, 2020 2:24 PM
> *To:* David MacDonald <david@can-adapt.com>
> *Cc:* WCAG <w3c-wai-gl@w3.org>; lisa.seeman <lisa.seeman@zoho.com>; WCAG
> Editors <team-wcag-editors@w3.org>
> *Subject:* Re: Sentence in COGA Note
>
>
>
> *CAUTION:* This email originated from outside of the organization. Do not
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>
>
> I do see how you’ve shifted the lens with the verbiage. The new wording is
> less abrasive. I wouldn’t oppose the change.
>
> This message was Sent from my iPhone. Please excuse any typographic
> errors.
>
>
>
> On May 5, 2020, at 11:15 AM, David MacDonald <david@can-adapt.com> wrote:
>
> Hi all
>
>
>
> on the call today there was quite a lively discussion around this sentence.
>
>
>
> CURRENT
>
> "People with cognitive and learning disabilities may not be able to
> effectively use web content because of the design and content choices of
> the author."
>
> I've gone back and tried to capture the essence of Lisa's rationale, while
> steering the focus to the design/content and rather than the author. I also
> used John Avila's word "impact" rather than "because".
>
>
>
> SUGGESTED
> Design and content choices can impact the content in ways that make it
> difficult or impossible for some users with cognitive and learning
> disabilities to use this content.
>
>
>
> Cheers,
> David MacDonald
>
>
>
> *CanAdapt* *Solutions Inc.*
>
> Mobile:  613.806.9005
>
> LinkedIn
>
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