RE: prov-dm, prov-n, prov-constraints preliminary staging

Hello Luc,

As promised in the telecon, I've quickly checked through a sample of the links in the DM document and the references. I found just a few matters:

In Table 3, just above Section 3, the links to Sections 5.2 and 5.3 are switched round (the former links to 5.3, the latter to 5.2).

In Example 18, the link text says Section 5.7.4.4, but it directs to 5.7.2.4.

Should we put a warning that the [UML] reference links to a PDF document?

thanks,
Simon

Dr Simon Miles
Senior Lecturer, Department of Informatics
Kings College London, WC2R 2LS, UK
+44 (0)20 7848 1166

Modelling the Provenance of Data in Autonomous Systems:
http://eprints.dcs.kcl.ac.uk/1264/

________________________________________
From: Miles, Simon [simon.miles@kcl.ac.uk]
Sent: 22 November 2012 15:53
To: public-prov-wg@w3.org
Subject: RE: prov-dm, prov-n, prov-constraints preliminary staging

Hello Luc,

I have read through the staged DM document. It all looks fine, but I notice a few typos and similar:

Section 1 intro, component 5 in list of components: "refer to a same thing" does not make sense, and should be "refer to the same thing" or "refer to a common thing".

Section 2.1, Example 5: "in this case, a car in Boston may be a different entity from a car in Cambridge". To clarify, do you mean "the same car in Cambridge"?

Section 2.3, Derivation row in table: "about derivations and its subtypes" - conjugation error

Section 4.2, second paragraph: "refer archived email messages" - missing "to"

Section 4.2, Figure 3: I notice the links to the plan aren't labelled. Should they say "hadPlan"? Or does an edge from an edge to an entity always denote a plan relation, so it doesn't need stating?

Section 5.1.6, first sentence: "known as trigger" - missing "the"

Section 5.16, Example 24: "In this example, filling fuel" - is not grammatical, and should be "filling up on fuel" (or "filling the fuel tank")

Section 5.1.7, first sentence: "known as trigger" - missing "the"

Section 5.1.8, just about Invalidation PROV-N definition: "anohter" (typo)

Section 5.3.1, inconsistent capitalisation in the list: "software agent", "Organization", "Person"

Section 5.3.5:, Influence PROV-N definition: "A Influence relation" should be "An Influence relation"

Section 5.5.1: "Specialization is not defined as Influence" sounds odd, and I'm not sure what it means. Do you mean "Specialization is not a kind of Influence" or "Specialization is not a sub-type of Influence"? The same issue applies in Sections 5.5.2 and 5.6.2 for Alternate and MemberOf.

Section 5.5.2, Example 45: "They are alternate of each other" should be "They are alternates of each other", "The are both specialization of the page" should be "The are both specializations of the page"

Section 5.6.2, first sentence: "to allow stating the members of a Collection" is grammatically unpleasant. I suggest "to allow the members of a Collection to be stated".

Thanks,
Simon




Dr Simon Miles
Senior Lecturer, Department of Informatics
Kings College London, WC2R 2LS, UK
+44 (0)20 7848 1166

PrIMe: A Methodology for Developing Provenance-Aware Applications:
http://eprints.dcs.kcl.ac.uk/1382/
________________________________________
From: Luc Moreau [l.moreau@ecs.soton.ac.uk]
Sent: 21 November 2012 12:58
To: public-prov-wg@w3.org
Subject: prov-dm, prov-n, prov-constraints preliminary staging

Hi all,

Given that our CR-track documents should be frozen by Monday, it would
be useful to have a few pairs of eyes checking the preliminary staged
versions of the specs.

http://dvcs.w3.org/hg/prov/raw-file/default/model/releases/CR-prov-dm-20121211/Overview.html
http://dvcs.w3.org/hg/prov/raw-file/default/model/releases/CR-prov-n-20121211/Overview.html
http://dvcs.w3.org/hg/prov/raw-file/default/model/releases/CR-prov-constraints-20121211/Overview.html

Known issues:
- text about CR exit criteria, implementation report, etc needs to be
added to intro.
- documents use dated URL where they will be published, so dangling links.

Can you let us know if you can spare a few minutes glancing at the
documents, providing
any feedback on potential bugs and/or typos.

Luc

PS. I am not aware that prov-o is ready yet


--
Professor Luc Moreau
Electronics and Computer Science   tel:   +44 23 8059 4487
University of Southampton          fax:   +44 23 8059 2865
Southampton SO17 1BJ               email: l.moreau@ecs.soton.ac.uk
United Kingdom                     http://www.ecs.soton.ac.uk/~lavm

Received on Sunday, 25 November 2012 17:18:21 UTC