- From: Bernard Horan <Bernard.Horan@Sun.COM>
- Date: Thu, 30 Jan 2003 12:37:40 +0000
- To: www-webont-wg@w3.org
Deborah, Frank on the whole I think this document is fine. It states its purpose pretty clearly and achieves what it sets out to do. I think it needs a little bit of polishing, as suggested below. cheers Bernard -------------- Comments are based on line numbers of HTML document http://www.ksl.stanford.edu/people/dlm/webont/OWLOverview.htm 51) [First para of abstract] This first sentence doesn't really make sense or add much to the paragraph. Suggest dropping it. 60) [2nd para of abstract] Suggest rewording as "This document is written for readers who require a 'first impression' ..." 142) [First para of introduction] Same sentence as line 51. 148) "The ontology language in OWL ..." seems a bit clumsy. Suggest "OWL is more expressive ..." 149) typo: "language" --> "languages" 178) Suggest change "In order for machines..." to "For machines" 181) "The OWL Requirements Document discusses more in detail "What is an ontology", motivates the need for a Web Ontology Language in terms of six use cases", formulates design goals, requirements and objectives for OWL." This sentence seems out of place, or is perhaps a placeholder? Perhaps a longer sentence connecting the requirements doc to "Why OWL?" 205) Too many <br>'s 207) "these datamodels" -- where did the plural come from? 227) [First para of 'The 3 sublanguages...'] Suggest "The OWL language" --> "OWL" as former seems a tautology. 250) Suggest change: "for example, while a class may be a subclass of many classes, a class cannot be a member of another class" --> "for example, a class may be a subclass of many classes, but cannot be an instance of another class" 288) Introduction of term "species", instead of sublanguage 297) "predictable" -- not sure what this means. Either "you're less likely to get the right answer", or "you're less likely to find tools". 304) mismatch between singular and plural. 326) typo: 'subProperty' --> 'subPropertyOf' 331) Suggest addition of prepositions --> "Synopsis of OWL Lite" [This may be a British vs. US English idiom; we seem to favour prepositions more :-] 401) Similarly --> "Synopsis of OWL DL and OWL Full" 454) What's the significance of "in English"? Should other readers look elsewhere? Suggest dropping it. 488) drop "when" as OWL says nothing about the temporal relationship between a class and its instances. 498) Suggest changing "classes are subclasses of other classes" --> "a class is a subclass of one or more other classes" 504) typo: "relationshop" 511) typo: "Datatypeproperty" 514) Suggest changing "some properties are subproperties of other properties" --> "a property is a subproperty of one ore more other properties" 525) typo: "Mamal" 526) typo: "restrictions" --> "restriction" 533) typo: "p" --> "P" 552) Suggest changing " stated to be the same" --> "stated to be equal" 559) ditto 564) I'm not sure it's necessary to include the sentence that begins "A reasoner can also deduce". 568) Isn't this 'identity' instead of 'equality'? If the two individuals are the same, then they're identical, rather than equal (i.e. they refer to the same instance). 573) Suggest changing 'systems' to 'languages' in "can be important in systems such as OWL" 573) Suggest changing "when modelers are interested in making the unique names assumption within those sets of objects." --> "when modelers are interested in enforcing unique names within those sets of objects" 599) I don't understand this para. 625) Extraneous '>' 643) ditto 651) "OWL Lite Property Type Restriction". I don't understand your use of the term 'type' in this section. The examples are about the use of restrictions to the class of instances. Is that the same as 'type'? (In OOPLs, it's not). Plus the title is a bit of a mouthful! There's also several "individual instance" phrases in which the word "individual" seems superfluous. 698) Suggest changing "OWL Lite Restricted Cardinality" --> "Restricted Cardinality in OWL Lite", otherwise it sounds a bit like you're discussing another variant of OWL Lite. 704) Suggest changing "the restrictions limit the cardinality" --> "the restrictions constrain the cardinality", to avoid overuse of 'limit'. 717) typo: "person" --> "persons" 743) Extraneous pseudo-sentence: "Th individuals by the property hasSpouse." 758) [Alternate namings for these restricted...] Not sure what this para is doing. 767) "will be" --> "are" ?? 792) Confused by "DatatypeProperties are relations between instances of classes and RDF literals and XML Schema datatypes" -- is that a triple relationship? 794) Is "ObjectProperties are relations between instances of two classes" correct? What about relations between instances of the same class? 818) "Full OWL" --> "OWL Full" 820) suggest removing "in OWL" 837) "Full OWL" --> "OWL Full" 844) Ditto 848) "empty class" seems a bit odd. Perhaps change to "a class that has no instances", or "a class that can have no instances"? 849) "Full OWL" --> "OWL Full" 853) Suggest remove "English"
Received on Thursday, 30 January 2003 10:35:34 UTC