a new member weighs in

Hello folks,

First congratulations and deepest thanks for the work you have all 
done in producing this document.  I can't think of any more important 
use of technology than to establish an effective two-way dialogue 
between citizens and their governments.  So please know that my 
comments are offered with sincere respect and appreciation for all 
that you have done.

We have been reviewing the document in the WAI Education and Outreach 
Working Group (EOWG) from the point of view of the treatment of 
accessibility for people with disabilities.  EOWG has been compiling 
those comments and they will be submitted separately.  My comments 
here will be more general and are offered as an individual rather 
than a group representative.

The idea of a W3C document about open government/e-government is 
tremendous and timely.  In my opinion, we must make the first 
document a model of the openness and transparency we hope and expect 
for governments to achieve.  With that in mind, I suggest a 
reorganization of the document as follows:

1. Clarity - why is the document being developed? statement of 
principles and goals
2. Simplification - move some of the more detailed aspects into 
related documents, but keep first working draft on higher level
3. Improve focus - The Introduction and a few of the other sections 
are somewhat rambling and do not seem related to each other and/or to 
specific to governmental issues.  The document needs to be edited for 
coherence and narrative flow.

I hesitate to be more specific in my comments since I know that there 
are serious time constraints.  I have been sending the URL around to 
others that I know are interested in e-government and who are working 
on related issues.  One reported back to me that she was unable to 
make her way through the entire doc without getting "lost."  Another 
noted to me (and I hope sent public comment)  that the citizen 
viewpoint needs to be included more strongly and that more 
acknowledgement is needed of the way technology enables two-way 
interactions, not simply a way to make existing government more efficient.

I am not sure how the editing is organized, but would suggest that 
whoever leads the development of each section look for ways to 
shorten and clarify and that the editors look for ways to improve the 
structure and the way that sections relate to the overarching principles.

Please let me know if this is useful and/or if I can help in any way.

Thanks again for taking this on - it is tremendously important!

Best,
Sharron


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sharron Rush |  Executive Director  |  www.Knowbility.org |  512 305-0310
Equal access to technology for people with disabilities