Humo(u)r # 1: Semantika: A Greek tragedy (from August 02)

Occasionally during the course of the WG, I have attempted to 
satirize the workings of our group and have shared only with folks 
like Guus and Dan.  However, now that we have reached the Last Call 
decision, I've been urged to share them more widely.

Disclaimer: While there may be resemblance to actual people in some 
cases, this was meant solely as satire and exaggerate, and anyone who 
is upset is invited to satirize and exaggerate back at me...  I 
apologize in advance if it causes any offense to anyone, please - I 
don't mean it to!!
  -JH
p.s. The motivation to use a Greek tragedy grew from the discussion 
on the mailing list about "solipcistic" approaches


<Written in August '02 when it looked liked we would never resolve 
our layering issue)

Semantika: A Greek play in one continuing act...

Narrator 1: The feeding trough has been opened by the great Gods of 
W, let us come and feast on the table of DAML and drink of the great 
OIL.

Chorus: Feeding Sounds

Logician 1: Stop the feast, I have proven the great Gods of W flawed
Logician 2: Yay and verily

Chorus; sounds of puzzlement

Logician 1: The layers upon which the great Gods have built the 
heavens are flawed, the sky could collapse at any moment
Logician 2: Yay and verily

Chorus: the sky is falling, the sky is falling

Logician 1: If we hide in a cave and point the whole sky dark, it can 
not fall on us - and we will be safe.
Logician 2: Logician 1 is a great and famous logician, you may not 
doubt his word.

Chorus: we will be saved!

WebGuru: Fear not, the sky will not fall as the great Gods understand 
the Web of all things, the sky  may have clouds, or even fall a bit, 
but it will not come down -- the mountains are there to hold it up!

RDFfan1: Yay and verily - and WebGuru is a master of the arts of W, 
having tamed the great schemas of X,
RDFfan2: (Remains visibly silent in honor of solipcism)

Chorus: hurrah we will be saved

Logician 3: I have examined the darkened sky, and it will not save 
us, nor shall the mountains be safe from the great beast paradox

Chorus: GASP. The sky is falling, the sky is falling.

Narrator 2: The great Gods of W are unhappy, the sky has not yet 
darkened, nor fallen nor been held up by the mountains.  We must 
sacrifice the logician or the guru to the Gods or we will be beheaded 
by the great axe named time.

WebGuru: I am busy playing TAG with the Gods, but cannot live with 
the darkened sky, so I will sacrifice time itself and show the height 
of the mountains

RDFfan 1: Hurrah, the logicians are wrong
RDFfan 2: <on vacation>

Logician 2: I will argue via irrefutable logic that the sky may fall some day
Logician 1: Yay and verily

Chorus: (1/2 staring at sky in panic, 1/2 staring at feeding trough 
in horror) we cannot eat, we cannot sleep - we invoke abstention the 
magnificant  -  in this way all will be solved!

Narrator 1: Time looms on, and abstention gains in power, woe unto 
us, a savior is needed.

Logician 3: I have climbed the mountain and examined the sky.  The 
ways of the schemas of R will take us to a safer place, and should 
the sky fall, the Gods of W will be there to protect us.

chorus: YAY!

Logician 2: but Logician 1 is a famous logician

chorus:  Logician 3 is the most famous in the world, we will be saved!

Logician 1: I have examined the feat of Logician 3, and there is a 
flaw in his logic!

chorus: GASP, the sky is falling!

Logician 3: you have confused my feat with my feet - that is only a 
stone in my shoe and easily removed

chorus: We will be saved!

Logician 2: But there may be more stones in your footwear, who will 
check to make sure your feets are pure?
Logician 1: Yay and verily

chorus leaves the stage to get a copy of coffee and some aspirin

Narrators 1 and 2: We are pleased to see so much progress being made!

Exeunt omne until an ending can be written.


-- 
Professor James Hendler				  hendler@cs.umd.edu
Director, Semantic Web and Agent Technologies	  301-405-2696
Maryland Information and Network Dynamics Lab.	  301-405-6707 (Fax)
Univ of Maryland, College Park, MD 20742	  240-731-3822 (Cell)
http://www.cs.umd.edu/users/hendler

Received on Thursday, 27 March 2003 14:36:47 UTC