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[css3-fonts] Copyedits Part A

From: fantasai <fantasai.lists@inkedblade.net>
Date: Sun, 03 Feb 2013 22:15:20 -0800
Message-ID: <510F51F8.3090800@inkedblade.net>
To: "www-style@w3.org" <www-style@w3.org>
General Comments

   One thing I noticed is that you don't use <div class="example"> for examples.
   It might be a good idea to do that, just to help distinguish normative vs.
   informative text. Also, in general, be clear when you are using an example
   by introducing it with "For example,".

1 Introduction

  # Font resources may be local, installed on the system on
  # which a user agent is running, or downloadable.

This reads like a 3-item list. I think you want to either
   - add "i.e." before the word "installed"
   - use parentheses instead of parenthetical commas

  # The CSS font selection mechanism describes how to match
  # a given set of CSS font properties to a given font face.

The second is an incorrect use of "given": the font face isn't
given, it's figured out. Might also be helpful to clarify out
of what set of fonts we're picking out this font face, so I
would suggest something like

   | ... to a specific font face among the available fonts.

2 Typography Background

   # This section is included as background for some of the problems
   # and situations that are described in other sections. It should
   # be viewed as informative only.

Usually we just write

   | This section is non-normative.

   # Typographic traditions vary across the globe so there is no
   # unique way to classify all fonts across languages and cultures.

If the words {and, or, so, but, yet} are used to join two full
clauses, the comma before the conjunction is required, so

   s/globe so/globe, so/

You do this several other places; I'll point them out, but skip
the explanation next time. :)

   # one-to-one mapping but more complex

Add a comma before "but".

   # Visual transformations based on textual context like this
   # may be a stylistic option for European languages but are
   # required to correctly render languages like Arabic; the
   # lam and alef characters below must be combined when they
   # exist in sequence:

This is a really long sentence.
   - Add a comma before "but are".
   - Use a period after "Arabic".
   - Start the next sentence with "For example,".

   # italic faces but much more extensive

Add a comma before "but".

   # Variations in the thickness of letterform strokes, or the
   # weight, or the overall proportions of the letterform, or
   # the width, are most common.

The punctuation here doesn't make it clear that you are
introducing terms for two concepts rather than creating
a list of four items. I suggest using parentheses to make
this clear and <dfn> for the terms if in fact you are
defining them here.

   | Variations in the thickness of letterform strokes
   | (the <dfn>weight</dfn>) or the overall proportions of
   | the letterform (<dfn>the width</dfn>) are most common.

(Incidentally, I would also suggest
   | Sets of font faces with various stylistic variations are often
   | grouped together into <dfn title="font family">font families</dfn>.
to define the term "font family". Although I'm not sure if that works
right with the preprocessor given we have a 'font-family' property.)

   # The Arabic script is shared by Persian and Urdu and Cyrillic
   # is used with many languages, not just Russian.

Prepend "For example".

   # The character map of a font defines the mapping of characters
   # to glyphs for that font.

"character map" probably deserves a <dfn>.

   # Although the character map of a font maps a given character
   # to a glyph for that character, modern font technologies such
   # as OpenType and AAT (Apple Advanced Typography) provide a
   # richer set of rules for performing this mapping.

I'm having a bit of trouble with this sentence. There's supposed
to be a contrast between the two clauses linked by "although",
but there isn't one. Having a bit of trouble explaining how to
fix it though. :/

   # Fonts in these forms

I think that should be s/forms/formats/. Hopefully that's valid,
because with all this talk of letterforms, it would be very good
not to reuse the word for something closer to "file format" than

Received on Monday, 4 February 2013 06:15:51 UTC

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