Re: [wbs] response to 'Scripts for Evaluation Intro Videos (Updated)'

Hi Shawn,


On 13/09/2019 17:30, Shawn Henry wrote:
> Thanks, Shadi!
> 
> replies below:
> 
> On 9/12/2019 11:06 PM, Shadi Abou-Zahra wrote:
>> Hi Shawn,
>>
>> Many thanks for your extensive and helpful comments. I addressed most 
>> of them in the latest update. Some issues are on the agenda for 
>> discussion. Below are some responses to specific comments:
>>
>>
>> On 13/09/2019 03:27, Shawn Henry via WBS Mailer wrote:
>> [SNIP]
>>>> ---------------------------------
>>>> Video 1: Evaluation Overview
>> [SNIP]
>>> 6: "Even if you are new to web accessibility and non-technical…"
>>> -> "Even if you are new to web accessibility and not technical…"
>>> Also, I wonder about "new to accessibility"? … so maybe:
>>> -> "Even if you don't know anything about web accessibility yet and 
>>> you're
>>> not technical…"
>>
>> I don't like "don't know anything". Hardly anyone coming here would 
>> not know anything about accessibility. Do you have other suggestions?
> 
> Good point. Maybe "don't know much"?

It would then read "Even if you don't know much about web accessibility 
and you're non-technical, there are several checks you can do to get a 
rough idea of the accessibility." -- I can live with that but find it a 
little long and clunky. What is wrong with "Even if you are new to"?


>> [SNIP]
>>> 6: "…  get a rough [idea] of how well you are doing."
>>> -> "…  get a rough [idea] of the accessibility of a web page."
>>> R: We imagine that people use Easy Checks to check *other* pages besides
>>> their own.
>>> Note: You say the in the Easy Checks video. If you want to leave this 
>>> one
>>> as is for flow, I'm totally fine with that.
>>
>> How about "get a rough idea of the accessibility" only?
> 
> yup, OK.
> (that might not be sufficient stand alone -- would need another word 
> after accessibility (e.g.,  the accessibility barriers or the 
> accessibility status or such) -- yet I think fine in context)

It would actually need to be "some of the accessibility aspects" or 
such, which I mildly think is unnecessarily long. What do you think?


>> [SNIP]
>>>> ---------------------------------
>>>> Video 2: Preliminary Evaluation
>> [SNIP]
>>> 2: "Even if you are new to web accessibility and non-technical, you 
>>> can do
>>> some easy checks to get a rough impression of the accessibility of 
>>> any web
>>> page."
>>> [See comments on Overview video script]
>>
>> ACK (keeping a tab on this comment for later edits).
>>
>> [SNIP]
>>> 7: "…can still give you a general idea of how well you are doing."
>>> -> "…can still give you a general idea of how well a page addresses
>>> accessibility."
>>> R: May be doing the checks on a vendor, competitor, or other site/
>>
>> Using "of the accessibility", in line with the prior edits.

(keeping tab on comments on sequences 2 and 7 above)


>> [SNIP]
>>> 9: "The first step to accessibility is understanding where you are"
>>> This not feeling tight For one thing, that assumes checking own website,
>>> whereas we're saying "webpage from your own website, from your 
>>> competitor,
>>> or from vendors you might want to work with." Another point is we 
>>> usually
>>> say get a basic understanding of accessibility first (ideally anyway) –
>>> e.g.,  https://www.w3.org/WAI/planning/interim-repairs/ says "If you are
>>> new to accessibility, it is often helpful to first get a basic
>>> understanding of accessibility:" True that then it goes into 
>>> "Identify the
>>> Issues".
>>
>> Changed to: "With Easy Checks, you can get started right away with 
>> finding some of the accessibility barriers."
> 
> good! ... actually:
> - second "with": "With Easy Checks, you can get started right away 
> finding some of the accessibility barriers."
> could - "of the": "With Easy Checks, you can get started right away 
> finding some accessibility barriers."
> 
> hummm..  "finding barriers" is assuming there are barriers, and maybe 
> not good to say that way?
> maybe: "With Easy Checks, you can get started right away checking if 
> there are some accessibility barriers."
> perhaps: "With Easy Checks, you can get started right away checking for 
> some accessibility barriers."
> perhaps: "With Easy Checks, you can get started right away checking some 
> accessibility issues."

Changed to "With Easy Checks, you can get started right away doing some 
accessibility checks."

Wondering if it now needs the second "with" back? Ie. "With Easy Checks, 
you can get started right away with doing some accessibility checks."?


Thanks,
   Shadi

-- 
Shadi Abou-Zahra - http://www.w3.org/People/shadi/
Accessibility Strategy and Technology Specialist
Web Accessibility Initiative (WAI)
World Wide Web Consortium (W3C)

Received on Monday, 16 September 2019 06:37:20 UTC