Re: [wbs] response to 'Scripts for Evaluation Intro Videos (Updated)'

Thanks, Shadi!

replies below:

On 9/12/2019 11:06 PM, Shadi Abou-Zahra wrote:
> Hi Shawn,
> 
> Many thanks for your extensive and helpful comments. I addressed most of them in the latest update. Some issues are on the agenda for discussion. Below are some responses to specific comments:
> 
> 
> On 13/09/2019 03:27, Shawn Henry via WBS Mailer wrote:
> [SNIP]
>>> ---------------------------------
>>> Video 1: Evaluation Overview
> [SNIP]
>> 6: "Even if you are new to web accessibility and non-technical…"
>> -> "Even if you are new to web accessibility and not technical…"
>> Also, I wonder about "new to accessibility"? … so maybe:
>> -> "Even if you don't know anything about web accessibility yet and you're
>> not technical…"
> 
> I don't like "don't know anything". Hardly anyone coming here would not know anything about accessibility. Do you have other suggestions?

Good point. Maybe "don't know much"?

> 
> 
> [SNIP]
>> 6: "…  get a rough [idea] of how well you are doing."
>> -> "…  get a rough [idea] of the accessibility of a web page."
>> R: We imagine that people use Easy Checks to check *other* pages besides
>> their own.
>> Note: You say the in the Easy Checks video. If you want to leave this one
>> as is for flow, I'm totally fine with that.
> 
> How about "get a rough idea of the accessibility" only?

yup, OK.
(that might not be sufficient stand alone -- would need another word after accessibility (e.g.,  the accessibility barriers or the accessibility status or such) -- yet I think fine in context)

> 
> 
> [SNIP]
>>> ---------------------------------
>>> Video 2: Preliminary Evaluation
> [SNIP]
>> 2: "Even if you are new to web accessibility and non-technical, you can do
>> some easy checks to get a rough impression of the accessibility of any web
>> page."
>> [See comments on Overview video script]
> 
> ACK (keeping a tab on this comment for later edits).
> 
> [SNIP]
>> 7: "…can still give you a general idea of how well you are doing."
>> -> "…can still give you a general idea of how well a page addresses
>> accessibility."
>> R: May be doing the checks on a vendor, competitor, or other site/
> 
> Using "of the accessibility", in line with the prior edits.
> 
> 
> [SNIP]
>> 9: "The first step to accessibility is understanding where you are"
>> This not feeling tight For one thing, that assumes checking own website,
>> whereas we're saying "webpage from your own website, from your competitor,
>> or from vendors you might want to work with." Another point is we usually
>> say get a basic understanding of accessibility first (ideally anyway) –
>> e.g.,  https://www.w3.org/WAI/planning/interim-repairs/ says "If you are
>> new to accessibility, it is often helpful to first get a basic
>> understanding of accessibility:" True that then it goes into "Identify the
>> Issues".
> 
> Changed to: "With Easy Checks, you can get started right away with finding some of the accessibility barriers."

good! ... actually:
- second "with": "With Easy Checks, you can get started right away finding some of the accessibility barriers."
could - "of the": "With Easy Checks, you can get started right away finding some accessibility barriers."

hummm..  "finding barriers" is assuming there are barriers, and maybe not good to say that way?
maybe: "With Easy Checks, you can get started right away checking if there are some accessibility barriers."
perhaps: "With Easy Checks, you can get started right away checking for some accessibility barriers."
perhaps: "With Easy Checks, you can get started right away checking some accessibility issues."


> 
> 
> [SNIP]
>>> ---------------------------------
>>> Video 3: Selecting and Using Tools
> [SNIP]
>> 9: "They address different audiences, such as content authors, code
>> developers, designers, and product owners."
>> -> "Different tools help with different tasks, such as designing, coding,
>> developing content, and project management.
>> [medium] "address different audiences" is not right for the target
>> users/tasks of tools
> 
> Changed to "They support different roles in a project team, such as content authors, code developers, designers, and product owners."

OK.

> 
> 
> [SNIP]
>> 14: "Equipped with the right tools and knowledge on how to use them, you
>> are in good shape to find and remove accessibility barriers."
>> ??? This makes it sound like you *need* tools to find and remove
>> accessibility barriers. I'm not sure we want to say that. Also this makes
>> it sound like there are "right tools" and wrong tools. (Also "find
>> accessibility barriers" – OK ; "remove accessibility barriers" – not
>> sure.)
>> Possibly something more like: "Tools that work well in your environment and
>> the knowledge to use them, can help you find accessibility barriers more
>> efficiently so you can fix them."
> 
> Changed to: "Equipped with tools and knowledge on how to use them, you are in good shape to find accessibility barriers more efficiently."

Good!

~Shawn

> 
> 
> Thanks,
>    Shadi
>

Received on Friday, 13 September 2019 15:30:17 UTC