- From: Susan Lesch <lesch@w3.org>
- Date: Mon, 3 Sep 2001 00:59:59 -0700
- To: dee3@torque.pothole.com, reagle@w3.org, dsolo@alum.mit.edu
- Cc: w3c-ietf-xmldsig@w3.org
Re: http://www.w3.org/TR/2001/PR-xmldsig-core-20010820/ Congratulations on your Proposed Recommendation. It looks great. Thank you for many improvements! Here are minor editorial comments. Best wishes for your project. 10 of the links to RFCs are ftp://ftp.isi.edu/in-notes/rfcNNNN.txt and 53 are http://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfcNNNN.txt. I would make them all match unless there is a reason not to. Where capitalized without markup, Transforms could be <code>Transforms</code> throughout. In the Status section, watch links inside parentheses: XML Signature Working Group(W3C -> XML Signature Working Group (W3C Interoperability Report)</a>. -> Interoperability Report</a>). (archive ) -> (archive) also in the TOC, 2.1 References ) -> References) interopable -> interoperable W3C Advisory Committee Members -> W3C Advisory Committee representatives Below, a section number is followed by a quote and then a suggestion. 1.1 provides a XML Schema provides an XML schema keywords key words (or make all occurrences one word) XML-namespace XML namespace 1.4 (to match the Process document..) working group Working Group last call Last Call 2.1.1 XML Schema validation XML schema validation In 3.2.1 Reference Validation, the phrase "For each Reference in SignedInfo:" is part of (1) and could refer to (2) or it could refer to (2), (3), and (4). I would make phrase (2), with (2,3,4) as (1), (2), (3), under it. 4.3.3.2 applied (See Transforms (section 4.3.3.1).) applied. (See Transforms (section 4.3.3.1).) 4.3.3.3 Canonical XML Canonical XML [XML-C14N] invoke it's own invoke its own 4.3.3.4 Seee See 4.4 all-together altogether 4.4.2.1 [DSS] needs a link to #ref-DSS (twice) avilable available 4.4.4 approriate appropriate unicode Unicode (twice) occurences occurrences (twice) this DTD and schema permits this DTD and schema permit 4.4.7 elemet element 4.5 normatiave normative 6.4.2 concatentation concatenation 6.5 NOTE Note 6.6.6 name-space namespace presense presence 7.0 xml XML 7.1 (5C) (5.3) 7.2 The Simple API for XML the Simple API for XML 7.3 xml XML 8.1 tranforms transforms 8.1.1 i.e,. i.e. 8.1.3 Referenceotherwise Reference otherwise This sentence is too long: As a result of this, while we RECOMMEND all documents operated upon and generated by signature applications be in [NFC, NFC-Corrigendum] (otherwise intermediate processors might unintentionally break the signature) encoding normalizations SHOULD NOT be done as part of a signature transform, or (to state it another way) if normalization does occur, the application SHOULD always "see" (operate over) the normalized form. What about a 'ul' (and removing the "we" which is hard to translate)? As a result: * All documents operated upon and generated by signature applications MUST be in [NFC, NFC-Corrigendum], otherwise intermediate processors might unintentionally break the signature. * Encoding normalizations SHOULD NOT be done as part of a signature transform, or, to state it another way, if normalization does occur, the application SHOULD always "see" (operate over) the normalized form. 10.0 behaviour behavior 11. Some of the references' titles are followed by " .", some by ".", and some by " ". I would make them all match. SAX needs a full stop before the author's name. In DOM, the most recent Recommendation is Level 2 in 5 parts all dated 13 November 2000. In RDF, the specs' titles should read "Resource Description Framework (RDF) Schema Specification 1.0" and "Resource Description Framework (RDF) Model and Syntax Specification". In SOAP, the most recent version is the WD (not Note) "SOAP Version 1.2". In URL, the authors' names are given in quasi-RFC style (family, initial, family, initial, initial, family). Unless you want to do this for every RFC (in which case you'd need to fix Masinter), I would say "T. Berners-Lee, L. Masinter, and M. McCahill." In XHTML, the most recent Recommendation is "XHTML(tm) 1.1 - Module-based XHTML". XLink is a Recommendation now. XML is now "Extensible Markup Language (XML) 1.0 (Second Edition)" adding E. Maler as an editor. M. Murata's family name is capitalized in XML-Japanese and not in XML-MT. I would go one way or the other. In XML-ns, Janaury -> January In XSL, the most recent version is a PR (no longer a CR).
Received on Monday, 3 September 2001 04:00:39 UTC