Re: draft blog post

Cheers  Peter - these were all great suggestions, and I've included most of them verbatim.

The post is now published - see http://blog.webplatform.org/2013/02/how-were-working-at-webplatform-org/

Chris Mills
Opera Software, dev.opera.com
W3C Fellow, web education and webplatform.org
Author of "Practical CSS3: Develop and Design" (http://goo.gl/AKf9M)

On 6 Feb 2013, at 16:27, Peter Lubbers <peterlubbers@google.com> wrote:

> Looks good, Chris.
> Some very minor suggestions for tightening up the content. Feel free to ignore!
> 
> Consider changing
> Moving forward with the huge amount of content we’ve got was always going to be a challenge, especially as we are but a few people, with a finite amount of time, many of us volunteers. 
> To:
> We knew it would be challenging to deal with this much content, especially as we are mostly volunteers with only a finite amount of time.
> 
> Consider changing
> We’ve already achieved much, working towards our goal of making WebPlatform.org the definitive client-side web technology documentation site. But there is still much more to do, which is why we opened it up to the wider community as an alpha. 
> To:
> We’ve already achieved much, working towards our goal of making WebPlatform.org the definitive client-side web technology documentation site, but there is still much more to do. That is why we opened the site up to the wider community as an alpha. 
> (The bold "the" looks a little weird. consider italic)
> 
> Consider paragraph break before "The plan was always"
> 
> The sentence
> The plan was always to include the public as early as possible, so more folks can join in and contribute. The web does after all belong to all of us, and this is going to be such a great tool, which will be useful to so many! 
> does not read well
> How about simply:
> The plan has always been to include the public as early as possible. The web does, after all, belong to all of us.
> 
> The text "For a start, we" leads me to think there will be a "Next, we..." but it just becomes the bulleted list. Maybe just remove the "For a start."
> 
> Tighten the first bullet:
> To make the work more manageable, we have started to split it into chunks, and then work on each in turn, moving on to the next task when we have finished each one. Sounds obvious, but it is so easy to become bogged down when you have so much work to do.
> Maybe something like this:
> To make the work more manageable, we have started to split it into manageable chunks and we work on each item in turn. Sounds obvious, but it is so easy to become bogged down when you have too much work to do.
> PL: Not sure the last sentence "Sounds obvious..." adds very much. consider dropping it.
> 
> Drop comma in "who is working on each task, at"
> 
> Stray bullet: * Get on with the tasks!
> 
> Consider rewriting:
> We have a plan to get most pages relating to these major areas sorted out in the next 2-3 months, but we need your help!
> To:
> Our plan is to perfect the topic pages for these two major areas over the next two to three months. This is where you come in!
> 
> Consider changing:
> bits of work
> To:
> focus areas
> 
> 
> Regards,
> --Peter
> 
> 
> On Wed, Feb 6, 2013 at 5:17 AM, Chris Mills <cmills@opera.com> wrote:
> Hi all,
> 
> I've put a draft of my webplatform blog post up at http://blog.webplatform.org/?p=180&preview=true (How we're working, at WebPlatform.org)
> 
> Ok to publish this today or tomorrow?
> 
> Chris Mills
> Opera Software, dev.opera.com
> W3C Fellow, web education and webplatform.org
> Author of "Practical CSS3: Develop and Design" (http://goo.gl/AKf9M)
> 
> 
>

Received on Thursday, 7 February 2013 11:48:29 UTC