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Completed Action Item ACTION-81: 3/28 Review of Web Payments Use Cases FPWD

From: Katie Haritos-Shea GMAIL <ryladog@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 28 Mar 2015 14:07:31 -0400
To: "'Manu Sporny'" <msporny@digitalbazaar.com>, "'Shane McCarron'" <shane@aptest.com>
Cc: <public-webpayments-ig@w3.org>
Message-ID: <1c7001d06982$101d6050$305820f0$@gmail.com>
Manu,

 

These comments are associated with this document: Web Payments Use Cases,
W3C Editor's Draft 28 March 2015
(URL:
https://dvcs.w3.org/hg/webpayments/raw-file/default/latest/use-cases/index.h
tml )

Below please find my comments:

 

1.       Location: Entire Document
Issue Type: Oversight
Comment: Missing disclaimer about the use of fictitious company and
individual name. 
Criticality: Major



2.       Location: Entire Document
Issue Type: Question
Comment: Do we want to use the term electronic cheque (as we have done) or
electronic check?
Criticality: N/A



3.       Location: 1.1 Why This Work is Important. First paragraph.
Issue Type: Spelling
Comment: Change viscious to vicious (remove s)
Criticality: Minor



4.       Location: 1.1 Why This Work is Important. Second paragraph, last
sentence.
Issue Type: Concept
Comment: I am a bit concerned that this is an overstatement, that by
improving financial services through mobile phone that we could improve
their lives. I do think it is fair to day that we could improve their
financial lives - however that is best stated as financial health. 
Suggest: Swap out lives with financial health.
Criticality: Moderate


5.       Location: 2. Terminology
Issue Type: Spelling
Comment: Change Mastercard to MasterCard (make c uppercase)
Criticality: Minor



6.       Location: 3. An Overview of the Payment Phases, First paragraph,
first sentence.
Issue Type: Oversight
Comment: Missing the business-to-person paradigm. Businesses provide and
return payments to people - which Is not solely a refund. (add
business-to-person).
Criticality: Moderate



7.       Location: 3. An Overview of the Payment Phases. Fourth paragraph. 
Issue Type: Error
Comment: Remove redundant word be.
Criticality: Minor



8.       Location: 2. Terminology, Note
Issue Type: No issue - Kudo
Comment: This is an excellent idea and approach!
Criticality: Vital



9.       Location: 3.4 Delivery of Product/Receipt. First paragraph.
Issue Type: Spelling
Comment: Change fouth to fourth (add r)

Criticality: Minor



10.   Location: 4.3 Payment Processing, Verification of Available Funds.
Issue Type: Punctuation
Comment: Change Jills to Jill's (add apostrophe)
Criticality: Minor



11.   Location 1: 6.1 Negotiation of Payment Terms, 6.1.1 Discovery of Offer
Location 2: 6.1 Negotiation of Payment Terms, 6.1.1.1 Non-Essential Use
Cases
Locations multiple.
Issue Type: Possible spelling
Comment: Consider changing Automatability to Automat-ability
Criticality: Minor



12.   Location: 6.1.1.1 Non-Essential Use Cases. Hold Funds, Goals. Multiple
Instances found.
Issue Type: Capitalization 
Comment: The word Rapid is incorrectly capitalized - in a location where
other topic words are not capitalized. Change Rapid to rapid.
Criticality: Minor



13.   Location: 6.1.1.1 Non-Essential Use Cases. Machine Readability.
Motivation.
Issue Type: Grammar
Comment: Change they're to they are
Criticality: Minor



14.   Location: 6.1.2 Agreement on Terms, Privacy Protection.
Issue Type: Oversight
Comment: Add "Privacy: It is important to ensure that non-essential
personally identifiable data must anonymized and protected throughout the
process. "
Criticality: Moderate



15.   Location: 6.1.2 Agreement on Terms, Credentials, Motivation.
Issue Type: Spelling
Comment: Change initated to initiated
Criticality: Minor



16.   Location: 6.1.2.1 Non-essential Use Cases, Privacy / Security
Issue Type: Spelling
Comment: Change personaly to personally
Criticality: Minor



17.   Location: 6.2.2 Selection of Payment Instruments, Payer Privacy,
Privacy / Security
Issue Type: Oversight / Addition
Comment: Suggest adding a sentence: Merchants and payees may be legally
responsible to protect this kind of payer payment information.
Criticality: Minor but useful.



18.   Location: 6.3.3 Authorization of Transfer, Proofs.
Issue Type: Punctuation
Comment: Change Tibors to Tibor's (add apostrophe)
Criticality: Minor



19.   Location: 6.3.3 Authorization of Transfer, Proofs
Issue Type: Possible spelling
Comment: If the primary language of this document is meant to be American
English, change specialised to specialized (change s to z for American
English)
Criticality: Minor



20.   Location: 6.3.4 Completion of Transfer. Variation of Delay. Fourth
bullet.
Issue Type: Clarity
Comment: Change EUR to either EURO or euro symbol.
Criticality: Minor



21.   Location: .4.2 Delivery of Receipt, Goals
Issue Type: Error
Comment: Remove redundant word and.
Criticality: Minor



 

 

Final Note: This may belong in another document such as Requirements. But
from an accessibility and user perspective, before subjecting a user to any
financial transaction commitment (such as a web payment) - users must be
presented with the option of reversing, checking or confirming their choice
or submission.

I am going to send a separate email to the list about this topic.

 

 

 

* katie *

 

Katie Haritos-Shea 
Senior Accessibility SME (WCAG/Section 508/ADA/AODA)

 

Cell: 703-371-5545 |  <mailto:ryladog@gmail.com> ryladog@gmail.com | Oakton,
VA |  <http://www.linkedin.com/in/katieharitosshea/> LinkedIn Profile |
Office: 703-371-5545

 
Received on Saturday, 28 March 2015 18:08:06 UTC

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