editorial comments on SPARQL Query Results XML Format editors draft

First a comment somewhat outside scope: the DAWG page 
(http://www.w3.org/2001/sw/DataAccess/) still lists the link to the WD 
draft and the editor's draft as "SPARQL Variable Binding Results XML 
Format". This should probably change to "SPARQL Query Results XML Format".

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Review http://www.w3.org/2001/sw/DataAccess/rf1/
$Revision: 1.33 $ of $Date: 2005/07/21 13:51:05 $


Table of Contents (http://www.w3.org/2001/sw/DataAccess/rf1/#contents)
-------------

The links for section 2.2 (Header) and 2.3 (Results) refer to the 
wrong anchor. Both refer to "#docElement", this should be "#head" and 
"#results", respectively.


2. Definition (http://www.w3.org/2001/sw/DataAccess/rf1/#definition)
-------------

"and this document defines an XML serialisation to encode variable
bindings Query Results from SELECT (SPARQL Query section 10.2). and
returning a boolean result from ASK (SPARQL Query section 10.5)"

I suggest rewording and fixing of punctuation to:

". This document defines an XML serialisation to encode variable 
binding query results from the SELECT result form (SPARQL Query 
section 10.2) and boolean query results from the ASK result form 
(SPARQL Query section 10.5)."


2.1 Document element 
(http://www.w3.org/2001/sw/DataAccess/rf1/#docElement)
--------------------

"The XML format has document element sparql element ...."

I suggest rewording to:

"The XML format has as the document element the sparql element ..."

or alternatively:

"The XML format has as the document element sparql ..."


2.3.1 Variable Binding Results
http://www.w3.org/2001/sw/DataAccess/rf1/#vb-results)
------------------------------

In the explanation of the ordered attribute, I suggest adding 
explicitly that if set to true, the xml element order reflects the 
query result order.

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  "The distinct attribute indicates that the results have are distinct
  ..."

I suggest removing the redundant 'have'.

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  "Note: The blank node label I is scoped to the result set XML
   document  and does not have any association to the the ..."

I suggest removing the redundant 'the'.

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  "A query solution encoded in this format could look something like
   the following:"

I suggest rewording to something a bit stronger (it 'could' look 
'something like' leaves a lot of room for alternatives ;)), for example:

  "An example of a query solution encoded in this format is given
   here:"

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Jeen
-- 
Jeen Broekstra          Aduna BV
Knowledge Engineer      Julianaplein 14b, 3817 CS Amersfoort
http://aduna.biz        The Netherlands
tel. +31 33 46599877