RE: Primer comments

Thanks for these - I'll look at them as soon as I can. 

> -----Original Message-----
> From: public-grddl-wg-request@w3.org 
> [mailto:public-grddl-wg-request@w3.org] On Behalf Of Ronald P. Reck
> Sent: 07 February 2007 11:22
> To: public-grddl-wg@w3.org
> Subject: Primer comments
> 
> 
> 
> http://www.w3.org/2001/sw/grddl-wg/doc29/primer.html
> 1.
> 
> current> Alternatively the information needed to obtain the
> transformation may be held in an associated metadata profile 
> document or namespace document.
> 
> rationale: I think this needs a comma
> 
> change> Alternatively, the information needed to obtain the
> transformation may be held in an associated metadata profile 
> document or namespace document.
> 
> 
> 2.
> current> This document uses a number of examples from the GRDDL Use
> Cases document to illustrate in detail the techniques GRDDL 
> provides for associating documents with appropriate 
> instructions for extracting any embedded data.
> 
> rationale:  I think this needs two commas
> 
> change>  This document uses a number of examples from the GRDDL Use
> Cases document to illustrate, in detail, the techniques GRDDL 
> provides for associating documents with appropriate 
> instructions for extracting any embedded data.
> 
> 
> 3.
> current> XML Transformation languages such as XSLT are quite versatile
> in their ability to process, manipulate, and generate XML and 
> the use of XSLT to generate XHTML from single-purpose XML 
> vocabularies is historically celebrated as a powerful idiom 
> for separating structured content from presentation.
> 
> rationale: I believe this is a run-on and would be better as 
> two sentences.
> 
> change> XML Transformation languages such as XSLT are quite 
> versatile in
> their ability to process, manipulate, and generate XML. The 
> use of XSLT to generate XHTML from single-purpose XML 
> vocabularies is historically celebrated as a powerful idiom 
> for separating structured content from presentation.
> 
> 
> 4.
> current>A diagram indicating the sequence of steps described for
> obtaining RDF from a document using an explicit link to the 
> transformation as described in the preceding paragraph
> 
> rationale: we have a definate description for a diagram I 
> dont see. I think also 'a' should be 'here' and we need a period.
> 
> change>Here is a diagram indicating the sequence of steps 
> described for
> obtaining RDF from a document using an explicit link to the 
> transformation as described in the preceding paragraph.
> 5.
> 
> current>In this case the profile transformation refers to a a 
> stylesheet
> that can convert HTML containing Embedded RDF into RDF/XML.
> 
> rationale: i think it needs a comma
> 
> change> In this case, the profile transformation refers to a a
> stylesheet that can convert HTML containing Embedded RDF into RDF/XML.
> 
> 
> 
> 6.
> 
> current> A diagram indicating the sequence of steps for obtaining RDF
> from a document using the profile URI as described in the 
> preceding paragraph
> 
> rationale: same as #4
> 
> 
> 7.
> 
> current> Then Jane can run queries can be run on merged 
> calendars using
> SPARQL.
> 
> rationale: mistake
> 
> change>Then Jane's queries can be run on the merged calendars using
> SPARQL.
> 
> 8.
> 
> current>Jane the discovers her friends Robin and David are
> 
> rationale: missing letter?
> 
> change> Jane theN discovers her friends Robin and David are
> 
> 
> 9.
> 
> current> Jane is pleased that she has found out all her friends can
> finally meet up at in Edinburgh.
> 
> rationale: too many words?
> 
> change> Jane is pleased that she has found out all her friends can
> finally meet up in Edinburgh.
> 
> 
> 10.
> 
> current> There are various special interest publications online which
> feature hotel reviews as well as blogs which contain reviews 
> by individuals.
> 
> rationale: stylistically i would prefer the conjunction 'and'
> 
> change>There are various special interest publications online which
> feature hotel reviews, and blogs which contain reviews by individuals.
> 
> 
> 11.
> 
> current> Among the reviewers there may be friends and 
> collegues of Jane
> and people whose opinion Jane values (e.g. friends and people 
> whose reviews Jane has found useful in the past).
> 
> rationale: remove 'may' to make a more believable statement
> 
> change> The reviewers include friends and collegues of Jane
> and people whose opinion Jane values (e.g. friends and people 
> whose reviews Jane has found useful in the past).
> 
> 
> 
>
 
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Received on Wednesday, 7 February 2007 22:31:45 UTC