Primer comments

http://www.w3.org/2001/sw/grddl-wg/doc29/primer.html
1.

current> Alternatively the information needed to obtain the
transformation may be held in an associated metadata profile document or
namespace document.

rationale: I think this needs a comma

change> Alternatively, the information needed to obtain the
transformation may be held in an associated metadata profile document or
namespace document.


2.
current> This document uses a number of examples from the GRDDL Use
Cases document to illustrate in detail the techniques GRDDL provides for
associating documents with appropriate instructions for extracting any
embedded data.

rationale:  I think this needs two commas

change>  This document uses a number of examples from the GRDDL Use
Cases document to illustrate, in detail, the techniques GRDDL provides
for associating documents with appropriate instructions for extracting any
embedded data.


3.
current> XML Transformation languages such as XSLT are quite versatile
in their ability to process, manipulate, and generate XML and the use of
XSLT to generate XHTML from single-purpose XML vocabularies is
historically celebrated as a powerful idiom for separating structured
content from presentation.

rationale: I believe this is a run-on and would be better as two
sentences.

change> XML Transformation languages such as XSLT are quite versatile in
their ability to process, manipulate, and generate XML. The use of
XSLT to generate XHTML from single-purpose XML vocabularies is
historically celebrated as a powerful idiom for separating structured
content from presentation.


4.
current>A diagram indicating the sequence of steps described for
obtaining RDF from a document using an explicit link to the
transformation as described in the preceding paragraph

rationale: we have a definate description for a diagram I dont see. I
think also 'a' should be 'here' and we need a period.

change>Here is a diagram indicating the sequence of steps described for
obtaining RDF from a document using an explicit link to the
transformation as described in the preceding paragraph.
5.

current>In this case the profile transformation refers to a a stylesheet
that can convert HTML containing Embedded RDF into RDF/XML.

rationale: i think it needs a comma

change> In this case, the profile transformation refers to a a
stylesheet that can convert HTML containing Embedded RDF into RDF/XML.



6.

current> A diagram indicating the sequence of steps for obtaining RDF
from a document using the profile URI as described in the preceding
paragraph

rationale: same as #4


7.

current> Then Jane can run queries can be run on merged calendars using
SPARQL.

rationale: mistake

change>Then Jane's queries can be run on the merged calendars using
SPARQL.

8.

current>Jane the discovers her friends Robin and David are

rationale: missing letter?

change> Jane theN discovers her friends Robin and David are


9.

current> Jane is pleased that she has found out all her friends can
finally meet up at in Edinburgh.

rationale: too many words?

change> Jane is pleased that she has found out all her friends can
finally meet up in Edinburgh.


10.

current> There are various special interest publications online which
feature hotel reviews as well as blogs which contain reviews by
individuals.

rationale: stylistically i would prefer the conjunction 'and'

change>There are various special interest publications online which
feature hotel reviews, and blogs which contain reviews by
individuals.


11.

current> Among the reviewers there may be friends and collegues of Jane
and people whose opinion Jane values (e.g. friends and people whose
reviews Jane has found useful in the past).

rationale: remove 'may' to make a more believable statement

change> The reviewers include friends and collegues of Jane
and people whose opinion Jane values (e.g. friends and people whose
reviews Jane has found useful in the past).

Received on Wednesday, 7 February 2007 11:21:37 UTC