Use Cases review

I did an initial review the Use Cases document, and I had the following
editorial comments.  Note that these are largely focused on the
structure of the text, and not about its content.

Comments on the GRDDL Use Cases working draft of 2 October 2006[0]:
===================================================================

1. Introduction[1]:
  
  * "There are many dialects in practice among the many XML documents on
the
    web."
    ->
    "There exist many dialects of XML in use by documents on the web."

    Reason: rewording in order to make more clear

  * "Some are more formally defined and others exhibit more
loosely-couple
    semantics."
    ->
    "Some are more formally defined and others exhibit more
loosely-coupled
    semantics."

    Reason: fix for typo

    Comment: Is "loosely-coupled" the correct modifier, here?  I might
say
    "others exhibit looser semantics" or "others allow for more freedom
of
    interpretation", instead.

  * "Recently, two progressive encoding techniques have emerged to
overlay
    additional semantics onto valid XHTML documents: RDF-a and
microformats
    offer simple, open data formats built upon existing and widely
adopted
    standards."
    ->
    "Recently, two progressive encoding techniques, RDFa and
microformats,
    have emerged to overlay additional semantics onto valid XHTML
documents.
    These techniques offer simple, open data formats built upon existing
and
    widely adopted standards."

    Reason: break up the two thoughts; also, I think the correct term
these
    days is "RDFa"

  * "How, for example, does software discover the author of a poem, a
    spreadsheet and an ontology? And how can software determine whether
    authors of each are in fact the same person?"
    ->
    "How, for example, does software discover the author of a poem, a
    spreadsheet, or an ontology? And how can software determine whether
    any two of these authors are in fact the same person?"

    Reason: slight rephrasing for clarity

  * "Any number of those XML documents on the web"
    ->
    "Any number of the XML documents on the web"

    Reason: minor edit

  * 'and whose object is "Stephen King,"'
    ->
    'and whose object is "Stephen King".'

    Reason: punctuation fix

  * Is the RDF abstraction a "syntax"?  I always thought of it as a
"model".
    *shrugs*

  * "For example, Dublin Core meta-data"
    ->
    "For example, Dublin Core metadata"

    Reason: respelling; later in the document we use "metadata", and I
think
    this is the generally accepted term

  * "The transformation algorithm used to is expressed in an XSLT
    transformation, dc-extract.xsl."
    ->
    "The transformation algorithm used is expressed in an XSLT
    transformation, dc-extract.xsl."

    Reason: typo fix

  * "Kayode uses a single-purpose XML vocabulary as the main
representation
    format for computer-based patient record. He uses GRDDL to be able
to
    able to query these records"
    ->
    "Kayode uses a single-purpose XML vocabulary as the main
representation
    format for a computer-based patient record. He uses GRDDL to able to
    query these records"

    Reason: typo fixes

  * "Adeline designs a system to allow here company to streamline the
    publication of Technical Reports. The system relies on shared
templates
    for publishing documents and a GRDDL transformation to build an
    up-to-date RDF index used to create an authoritative repository."
    ->
    "Adeline designs a system to allow her company to streamline the
    publication of Technical Reports. The system relies on shared
templates
    for publishing documents and a GRDDL transformation for building an
    up-to-date RDF index used to create an authoritative repository."

    Reason: typo fixes and grammar streamlining

2. Use case #2[2]

  * "Querying an XML-based clinical data using an standard ontology"
    ->
    "Querying XML-based clinical data using an standard ontology"

    Reason: grammar fix

3. Use case #4[3]

  * "She proposes a system that relies on Semantic Web technologies to
allow
    here company"
    ->
    "She proposes a system that relies on Semantic Web technologies to
allow
    her company"

    Reason: typo fix

4. Use case #6[4]

  * "In particular, the Atom Publishing Protocol's use of HTTP and
    single-purpose XML vocabulary as the primary remote messaging
mechanism
    which allows Voltaire to easily author various XForm documents that
use
    XForm submission elements to dispatch operations on web resources."
    ->
    "In particular, the Atom Publishing Protocol uses HTTP and a
    single-purpose XML vocabulary as its primary remote messaging
mechanism,
    which allows Voltaire to easily author various XForm documents that
use
    XForm submission elements to dispatch operations on web resources."

    Reason: grammar fixes

  * Random note: this is a really clever use case

5. Use case #7[5]

  * "Thus it serves a dual purpose for its instances: validation and
    identifying transforms to glean meaning"

    Comment: unfinished thought?

A. Other comments

  * I think I would season the document more liberally with commas,
although
    I left a number of those edits out so that I don't look completely
    insane.

[0] http://www.w3.org/TR/2006/WD-grddl-scenarios-20061002/

[1] http://www.w3.org/TR/2006/WD-grddl-scenarios-20061002/#introduction

[2]
http://www.w3.org/TR/2006/WD-grddl-scenarios-20061002/#health_care_use_c
ase

[3]
http://www.w3.org/TR/2006/WD-grddl-scenarios-20061002/#digital_libraries
_use_case

[4]
http://www.w3.org/TR/2006/WD-grddl-scenarios-20061002/#xform_use_case

[5]
http://www.w3.org/TR/2006/WD-grddl-scenarios-20061002/#xml_schema_use_ca
se

Take care,

    John L. Clark  |  Systems Analyst
                   |  Cardio-Thoracic Surgery Research
 Cleveland Clinic  |  9500 Euclid Ave.   |  Cleveland, OH 44195
                   |  (216) 445-6011





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Received on Wednesday, 7 February 2007 15:22:26 UTC