Re: Review of FPWD Conneg-by-AP

I actually did a first pull request with editorial corrections for the
first 2 sections, and will continue, section by section, if that works
for the editors. Then I'll gather the ones where I don't have a viable
answer myself and perhaps make github issues or an email post of them.

https://github.com/w3c/dxwg/pull/568

kc

On 11/13/18 8:19 AM, Svensson, Lars wrote:
> On Tuesday, November 13, 2018 4:54 PM, Karen Coyle [mailto:kcoyle@kcoyle.net] wrote:
> 
>> Lars, I like your re-write. There are numerous instances of sentences
>> ending in "conforming to" in the document which I marked as I read. All
>> of them need re-wording. This could be a github issue if you don't want
>> to try to do it before FPWD. And note that there are other sentences
>> that are hard to read which will need work. These are among the
>> editorial changes that I would like to see.
> 
> Can you perhaps just list all the sentences you find hard to read in an email? Then we can decide if we want to create issues for them or address them in the FPWD (which will probably depend on how quickly we can find consensus...).
> 
> Best,
> 
> Lars
>  
>> On 11/13/18 7:06 AM, Svensson, Lars wrote:
>>>> 5. Section 5.2:
>>>>
>>>> [[
>>>> 1. list profiles
>>>> a server responds to a client with the list of profile URIs for the profiles it is able
>> to
>>>> deliver resource representations conforming to
>>>> ]]
>>>>
>>>> I wonder whether there's something missing at the end of the sentence
>>>> ("conforming to" what?)
>>> The sentence is correct but admittedly hard to read. "conforming to" refers to the
>> profiles in the list of profile URIs. It's hard to come up with a catchy definition. My
>> best attempt would be:
>>> [[
>>> A server responds to a client with a list of profile URIs. For each URI in that list,
>> the server can deliver at least one resource representation conforming to the profile
>> identified by that URI."
>>> ]]
>>>
>>> Does that make sense?
>>>
>>
>> --
>> Karen Coyle
>> kcoyle@kcoyle.net http://kcoyle.net
>> m: 1-510-435-8234 (Signal)
>> skype: kcoylenet/+1-510-984-3600
> 

-- 
Karen Coyle
kcoyle@kcoyle.net http://kcoyle.net
m: 1-510-435-8234 (Signal)
skype: kcoylenet/+1-510-984-3600

Received on Tuesday, 13 November 2018 20:26:06 UTC