Re: some observations about the front matter

On 16/04/2016 16:24, Bernadette Farias Lóscio wrote:
> Hi Annette,
>
> Thanks for your review. Please, find my comments inline.
>
> Introduction
>> --
>> First paragraph, some examples have no clear relationship to the web;
>> "this phenomenon" has no clear antecedent.
>> Needs a careful native-speaker edit.

I have changed the end of that sentence to "... provide some examples of 
this growth in the use of Web for publishing data."

I do not follow Annette's comment about no clear relationship to the 
Web. Sorry, what am I missing? (or what is the text missing).

>>
>
> Could you please be more specific about the examples that have no clear
> relationship to the Web?
>
> Audience
>> --
>> Remove "such as CSV, JSON and RDF." They are too specific; don't use
>> examples here.
>>
>
> Why do you think that we shouldn't use examples ? I'm ok with removing the
> examples, but I'd like to understand the reason for this.

I'm not sure I can express it fully, and I may be seeing something 
Annette doesn't see, but I can only say that reading through, I found 
that when I remove the examples of CSV, JSON etc. the text read better. 
This is introductory matter, it's a preamble. What's important here is 
that we're covering lots if stuff, not just Linked Data.

>
>
>>
>> Context
>> --
>> The word "mainly" needs to be removed here: "The DWBP document is mainly
>> interested on the Identification principle that says that URIs should be
>> used to identify resources." "Mainly" means that it is more important than
>> other considerations, which isn't true and probably isn't what was meant.
>>
>
> Ok! We  wanted to highlight the Identification principle, but maybe this is
> not a good way to say this.

I've made slight changes so that the sentence now reads:

"An important aspect of publishing and sharing data on the Web concerns 
the architectural basis of the Web [[WEBARCH]]. An important aspect of 
this is the identification principle that says that URIs should be used 
to identify resources.

>
>
>> I disagree with the statement that "multiple Dataset Access mechanisms
>> should be available."
>>
>
> Could you please explain why do you disagree with this statement? Maybe
> this is also a rewriting issue.

+1 to Bernadette. I can't figure this one out. We recommend, for 
example, both APIs and bulk download.

>
>
>>
>> The diagram is still confusing for me. I can't tell what it is trying to
>> say. What is the relationship between the blue dataset and the green,
>> yellow, and orange rectangles supposed to be showing? Why does a blue box
>> refer to a dataset and then to distributions? Why is the grouping within
>> blue boxes different after the arrow? What does the dotted line represent?
>> What does the arrow represent?
>>
>> This section wanders between discussion of basic definitions and an
>> incomplete enumeration of the best practices themselves. It needs to be
>> rewritten so that it has a clear purpose and adheres to it.
>>
>
> Eric is helping us to rewrite the text and to make changes on the diagram
> to make it more clear. As soon as we have a new proposal, we're gonna make
> it available to have feedback from the group,

OK. I've made some minor native speaker edits already which I hope don't 
mess up what Eric is doing.

BP Template
===========
Consider adding the fact that all BPs include, or refer to, examples.


>
>
>>
>> Basic Example
>> --
>> It should be about more modes of transit than just buses. We have some
>> examples that use multiple modes.
>>
>
>
> I'm not sure if it's better to change the Basic Example or to change the
> examples that consider multiple modes. I'm afraid of creating big
> expectations on the public if we mention multiple modes in example
> description, but just few BP examples really consider this aspect.

Occam's Razor...


I have updated my pull request to include minor native speaker edits and 
some changes discussed here.

Phil


>
>
> Thanks!
> Bernadette
>
>
>>
>> --
>> Annette Greiner
>> NERSC Data and Analytics Services
>> Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory
>>
>>
>>
>
>

-- 


Phil Archer
W3C Data Activity Lead
http://www.w3.org/2013/data/

http://philarcher.org
+44 (0)7887 767755
@philarcher1

Received on Tuesday, 19 April 2016 14:01:37 UTC