some observations about the front matter

Hi folks,
I made it through the front matter of the BP doc, and here are the 
issues I found.
-Annette

Introduction
--
First paragraph, some examples have no clear relationship to the web; 
"this phenomenon" has no clear antecedent.
Needs a careful native-speaker edit.

Audience
--
Remove "such as CSV, JSON and RDF." They are too specific; don't use 
examples here.

Context
--
The word "mainly" needs to be removed here: "The DWBP document is mainly 
interested on the Identification principle that says that URIs should be 
used to identify resources." "Mainly" means that it is more important 
than other considerations, which isn't true and probably isn't what was 
meant.

I disagree with the statement that "multiple Dataset Access mechanisms 
should be available."

The diagram is still confusing for me. I can't tell what it is trying to 
say. What is the relationship between the blue dataset and the green, 
yellow, and orange rectangles supposed to be showing? Why does a blue 
box refer to a dataset and then to distributions? Why is the grouping 
within blue boxes different after the arrow? What does the dotted line 
represent? What does the arrow represent?

This section wanders between discussion of basic definitions and an 
incomplete enumeration of the best practices themselves. It needs to be 
rewritten so that it has a clear purpose and adheres to it.

Basic Example
--
It should be about more modes of transit than just buses. We have some 
examples that use multiple modes.

-- 
Annette Greiner
NERSC Data and Analytics Services
Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory

Received on Thursday, 14 April 2016 21:06:51 UTC