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RE: bcase typos & suggestions

From: Shawn Lawton Henry <shawn@w3.org>
Date: Mon, 12 Apr 2004 20:02:31 -0500
To: "'Harvey Bingham'" <hbingham@acm.org>, "'WAI Editors'" <wai-eo-editors@w3.org>
Message-ID: <000c01c420f3$0c07b530$418d7544@SLHenry>

Harvey,

Thank you for your review and comments on the business case. I will post
a revised version with your changes and other's changes soon. 

Replies to your comments are below surrounded by brackets []. Let me
know if you want to discuss any of them.

Regards,

~ Shawn


Second para, first sentence:

[DONE] organizations (sp)

[DONE]     by full a      by a full

Introduction:

[DONE] Third sentence: change "to commitment"   to "for committing"

[DONE] Third paragraph:  "guideance"   "guidance"

[I agree that generally it would be nice to have parallel styles;
however, I think the "reduce" "enable" and "be prepared" are a little
stronger -- and the "identifying" is just questions for people preparing
their own business case - that section won't be in their real business
case so I think it's best to leave them as is (and then they will better
match the subheadings in the other documents as well)] Technical Factors
..."reduce" use gerunds to get parallel styles: 
"reducing" (2), ...enabling,  ... preparing ..

[can't tell what change you are recommending] Financial Factors   clean
up text.   "including direct cost savings, 
reduced initial costs and ongoing maintenance costs,"

[think already changed] Legal Factors ... rather than end with "for Web
Accessibility"   "mandating
Web Accessibility"


> -----Original Message-----
> From: Harvey Bingham [mailto:hbingham@acm.org] 
> Sent: Friday, April 02, 2004 7:58 AM
> To: WAI Editors
> Cc: Shawn Lawton Henry
> Subject: bcase typos & suggestions
> 
> 
>   Your fingers may have been flying out of sync with your brain!
> 
> Second para, first sentence:
> 
> organizations (sp)
> 
>     by full a      by a full
> 
> Introduction:
> 
> Third sentence: change "to commitment"   to "for committing"
> 
> Third paragraph:  "guideance"   "guidance"
> 
> Technical Factors  ..."reduce" use gerunds to get parallel styles: 
> "reducing" (2), ...enabling,  ... preparing ..
> 
> Financial Factors   clean up text.   "including direct cost savings, 
> reduced initial costs and ongoing maintenance costs,"
> 
> Legal Factors ... rather than end with "for Web 
> Accessibility"   "mandating
> Web Accessibility"
> 
> Regards/Harvey
>     
> 
> 
Received on Monday, 12 April 2004 21:36:15 GMT

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