- From: Chris Lilley <chris@w3.org>
- Date: Sun, 5 Dec 2004 13:07:03 +0100
- To: noah_mendelsohn@us.ibm.com
- Cc: Norman Walsh <Norman.Walsh@Sun.COM>, www-tag@w3.org
On Friday, December 3, 2004, 10:54:58 PM, noah wrote: nuic> * My recollection of punctuation rules seems to be fading as high nuic> school recedes into the ancient past, but I'm curious about the nuic> sentence: nuic> "In addition a small amount of client side computation is saved." nuic> Shouldn't there be a comma after "In addition", resulting in: nuic> "In addition, a small amount of client side computation is nuic> saved."? yes nuic> * Having risked embarrassment regarding my knowledge of nuic> punctuation, I'll venture a comment relating to grammar. Also in nuic> section 4.3: nuic> "On the other hand, recombination on the client makes the nuic> delivered content applicable to a wider range of devices. This nuic> improves caching efficiency and gives users more presentation nuic> options. It can be tailored to particular groups of devices by nuic> using media specific style sheets." nuic> I think that the antecedents of the words "This" in the second sentence nuic> and "It" in the third sentence are ambiguous. At best I think the nuic> sentences parse somewhat clumsily. They are however directly responsive to a review comment and have been agreed by that reviewer, so need to be edited carefully and with awareness of the technical uses of certain terms. nuic> How about: nuic> "On the other hand, recombination on the client makes the nuic> delivered content applicable to a wider range of devices. nuic> Client-side recombination improves caching efficiency good edit, clearer, nuic> and gives nuic> users more presentation options. In particular, style sheets no, that edit removes meaning. Instead I suggest s/style sheets/media-dependent style sheets/ because that is the term used at http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-CSS2/media.html#q2 nuic> can be applied at the client to tailor presentations for a variety nuic> of device types." I would prefer say s/device types/groups of target devices/ because again, groups is used with a specific meaning as in http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-CSS2/media.html#media-groups nuic> * Again in Section 4.3: nuic> "For textual content with a regular and repeating structure, the nuic> combined size of the text content plus the style sheet is nuic> typically less than that of a fully recombined content;" nuic> Delete word "a"? yes. Lets not forget the following small change also '... there are two resources: "a report on the current weather in Oaxaca" and "a report on the weather in Oaxaca on 1 August 2004". The Oaxaca weather site assigns two URIs to these two different resources.' as discussed on www-tag in the last day or two. -- Chris Lilley mailto:chris@w3.org Chair, W3C SVG Working Group Member, W3C Technical Architecture Group
Received on Sunday, 5 December 2004 12:07:04 UTC