- From: Tim Bray <tbray@textuality.com>
- Date: Thu, 14 Aug 2003 08:05:47 -0700
- To: "Ian B. Jacobs" <ij@w3.org>
- Cc: www-tag@w3.org
Ian B. Jacobs wrote:
> TAG,
>
> I have redrafted the Arch Doc's abstract and first part
> of the introduction (from 1 Aug draft) based on comments
> from Tim Bray and Dan Connolly. It would be helpful if
> Dan, Tim Bray, and Roy in particular were to review this
> text to see if it meets their needs.
I think this is still not as polished and clear as the version on the TR
page. However, there's nothing structurally wrong with it and with a
bit more editorial work it might get there. I remain concerned about
investing effort in things that were in pretty good shape when we have
big chunks that aren't there yet at all. That said, some editorial
comments:
The W W W is an information system which in which hypertext links
establish a network of resources.
s/The Web Architecture/It/
Hmph. The language in the TR version "When Web Architecture is followed
yadda yadda efficient, scaleable..." is quite a bit better, I think.
--
Cheers, Tim Bray
(ongoing fragmented essay: http://www.tbray.org/ongoing/)
Received on Thursday, 14 August 2003 11:05:47 UTC