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Re: Revised introduction/abstract for Arch Doc

From: Tim Bray <tbray@textuality.com>
Date: Thu, 14 Aug 2003 08:05:47 -0700
Message-ID: <3F3BA54B.8070607@textuality.com>
To: "Ian B. Jacobs" <ij@w3.org>
Cc: www-tag@w3.org

Ian B. Jacobs wrote:
> TAG,
> I have redrafted the Arch Doc's abstract and first part
> of the introduction (from 1 Aug draft) based on comments 
> from Tim Bray and Dan Connolly. It would be helpful if
> Dan, Tim Bray, and Roy in particular were to review this 
> text to see if it meets their needs.

I think this is still not as polished and clear as the version on the TR 
page.  However, there's nothing structurally wrong with it and with a 
bit more editorial work it might get there.  I remain concerned about 
investing effort in things that were in pretty good shape when we have 
big chunks that aren't there yet at all.  That said, some editorial 

The W W W is an information system which in which hypertext links 
establish a network of resources.

s/The Web Architecture/It/

Hmph.  The language in the TR version "When Web Architecture is followed 
yadda yadda efficient, scaleable..." is quite a bit better, I think.
Cheers, Tim Bray
         (ongoing fragmented essay: http://www.tbray.org/ongoing/)
Received on Thursday, 14 August 2003 11:05:47 UTC

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