Better Web Browsing -- mostly copy edits

EOWG Editors, especially Andrew and Shadi:

Below are some comments on Better Web Browsing. I didn't get through 
the whole document, but let me know here, or on the call, whether I 
should continue over the weekend.

I don't want to waste our time if these kinds of items are premature.

Also, let me know if there's a more efficient way for me to submit these.

Jennifer

[Draft] Better Web Browsing
Approaches to Making Web Browsing More Effective and Enjoyable
Last updated: $Date: 2009/12/11 11:56:02 $

http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/adaptive/strategies.html


1.  I think there should be a colon in the title, like this:
Better Web Browsing:
Approaches to Making Web Browsing More Effective and Enjoyable

The problem is that adding the colon may make this seem more academic 
than intended.

2.  In this:
Websites often have text that is difficult to read, controls that are 
difficult to


Often?  Or would it be better to say:
"sometimes?"

3.  or multimedia that is difficult to hear.

Is it multimedia? Or is audio content what is meant?

I thought that multimedia was "multi" insofar as it could be audio, 
visual, a combo thereof, or even some other kind of media yet to appear.

4.  or making additional customization
to your computer

Perhaps "or otherwise customizing . . ."

5. sometimes websites are not designed to be accessible and do not 
support customization.

5.1.  Capitalize the s in Sometimes

and

5.2.  Should be "Sometimes,"

6.  W3C does not verify the accuracy of
these reference.

6.1.  Should be "references."

6.2.  I am not sure of the preferred style.  Should the sentences in 
this section start with "The W3C," instead?

7.  Look for menu items called '
options', 'preferences', 'settings', 'accessibility
', or similar and try out the one or the other setting to see if it 
improves your
web experience.

Suggest:

Look for menu items such as "options," "preferences," "settings," and 
"accessibility." Experiment with changing some of the settings you 
find to see if the changes improve your
web experience.

8.  Exploring and getting to know your computer system is the first step to an

Suggest:
Exploring and getting to know your computer system are the first steps to an

9.  Add comma, like this in brackets:
technology vendors[,] provide computer

10.  Also make sure that the room lighting
and your position in front of the screen is optimal for you.

Change to:

Also[,] make sure that the room lighting
and your position in front of the screen are optimal for you.

11. <h3> Enlarging Text and Images</h3>
Browser:

I am not sure what is meant by the word "browser," above.

I looked at the source code, and I still wasn't sure:
<p><strong class="head">Browser:</strong> Most web browsers will 
allow you to simply enlarge and reduce text and image sizes

Could the h3 be changed to:
Enlarging Text and Images with Your Browser

without causing an issue with the visual look and feel?

I see System: and Tools: below, so I see what the goal is.  I guess 
using an h4 for Browser, System and Tools: might be confusing.

12.  If it's convention to surround menu options with '', then ignore 
my point above and throughout the remainder of the document.

Maybe it's an Americanism, but I typically see ""

Clearly, the W3C's Style Guide should be followed for consistency.

13.  Sentence is long.  See suggestion below:

You can also change the default display settings of your computer 
operating system,
rather than only that of your web browser. You can increase the 
default font-size
which will make the text (but not the images) appear larger in all 
your applications,
or you can decrease the resolution of your display which will make 
all content appear
larger but will therefore take up more space on your computer screen.


I suggest:
You can also change the default display settings of your computer 
operating system,
rather than only that of your web browser. You can increase the 
default font-size
which will make the text, but not the images, appear larger in all 
your applications. Alternatively, you can decrease the resolution of 
your display which will make all content appear
larger but will therefore take up more space on your computer screen.

14.  I am not sure what the trademark requirements are.  When 
mentioning Windows, is it a good idea to say:
"Microsoft Windows," at least for the first occurrence?

And same with Apple?

Maybe it's not essential. Example:

Related Resources:
Windows - [
15.  Tools: There are

In the case of Browser and System, each appears on its own line, but 
not "Tools:"

16.  Add s, as in brackets:

There are also browser-based tool[s] that allow you to change the 
color, text size and

17.  other approaches and strategies for improving the 
understandability of websites
is included in the section
17.1.  Capitalize the o in "Other?"


The key is to be consistent in how you write the notes, and I'm not 
sure what the preferred style is.

17.2.  Should be "are included."

18. on them to switch them on, adjust the volume, or do other 
adjustments. Make sure

Should be "or make other adjustments."

Received on Friday, 11 December 2009 12:57:18 UTC