Stds Harmonisation copy edits (mostly)

version 2004/05/06 at http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/standard-harmon.html

Overview - Para 2:

Is: "In many countries there is currently fragmentation ..."
Suggest: "Across the world there is currently fragmentation ..."

Is: "Sometimes there is one version of a guideline ..."
Suggest: "Furthermore, there is sometimes one version of a guideline ..."

Is: "... commercial and non-governmental organizations  ..."
Suggest: "... commercial, educational and non-governmental organizations
.."

Overview - Para 3:

Is: "... such as alternative text for graphics or captions for audio ..."
Suggest: "... such as alternative text for graphics, summaries for data
tables, or captions for audio ..." - to add a more technical (and non-alt
text example)

Suggest changing "uneager" to "disinclined"

Overview - Para 4:

Is: "... re-use of training and technical assistance resources for Web
accessibility."
Suggest: "... re-use of training and technical assistance resources for Web
accessibility across jurisdictions and regions."

Also suggest considering that the items following "It enable better access
to .." become a list.

Overview - Para 5:

Suggest that the three guidelines that WAI has developed become a list,
rather than paragraph text
Also suggest dropping "(2.0)" to give documenta  longer life and allow for
2.5, 3.1, etc

BTW - I like this para graph at the end of the Overview cf previous
position.

Web Developers - Para 1:

Is: "... produce inaccurate markup..."
Suggest: "... produce inaccurate and non-standard markup ..."

Web Developers - Para 2:

Is: "... inconsistent support of Web standards needed for accessibility
..."
Do you/we mean "... inconsistent support of technical Web standards needed
for accessibility ..."

Authoring Tools - Para 1:

Is: "... given set of features throughout their customer base"
Suggest: "... given set of features across their customer base"

Is: "... change the face of the Web ..."
Suggest: "... change the usability of the Web ..." (I'm concerned about
transaltion issues)

Evaluation Tools - Para 2:

Is: "Harmonized standards allow ..."
Suggest: "Harmonized accessibility standards allow ..."

Organisations:

Suggest an additional para (to become para 2) talking about minimum levels
of accessibility aimed for by multi region/jurisdiction organisations
because they face different/conflicting standards, rather than aiming for a
higher level of accessibility that would be practical if they only faced
one standard

Browsers - Para 3:

Is: "... key elements of browser and media player that ..." - needs to be
plural
Suggest: "... key elements of browsers and media players that ..."

Regards,  Andrew

PS - more substantial suggestions will be sent to EO list


_________________________________
Dr Andrew Arch
Manager Online Accessibility Consulting
National Information & Library Service, Australia
Ph 613 9864 9222; Fax 613 9864 9210; Mobile 0438 755 565
http://www.nils.org.au/ | http://www.it-test.com.au/ |
http://www.ozewai.org/

Member, Education & Outreach Working Group,
W3C Web Accessibility Initiative
http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/

NILS - A Joint Venture between the
Royal Victorian Institute for the Blind, The Royal Blind Society of NSW,
and Vision Australia Foundation.

Received on Thursday, 6 May 2004 23:32:45 UTC