- From: Susan Lesch <lesch@w3.org>
- Date: Sat, 2 Feb 2002 00:30:51 -0800
- To: w3c-wai-ua@w3.org
Belated congratulations on your UAAG Candidate Recommendation [1] and Techniques [2]. The overall impression is beautiful, direct writing with no wasted resources. I think you could improve readability by pruning meta-information, and listing all parts in the introduction (less prose, one list). For example, write in the introduction some variation of: - Guidelines - Checkpoints - Linear Checklist - Tabular Checklist - Summary - Techniques - Techniques Topics This sets expectations. The reader will know ahead of time that after reading the eventual Recommendation, there is more to know. Related, it wasn't until I reached the summary, after reading the whole spec, that it was clear the checkpoints are what UAs need to conform to. As UAAG goes beyond "Guidelines," this can be said up front. Apologies if I missed a cue. Where possible, UAAG could use XHTML examples instead of HTML. For example, in chapter 4, Empty content under Content: (e.g., the HR element in HTML). becomes: (e.g., the hr element in XHTML). Globally, elements, attributes, and properties can all be marked up <code> (or not). Right now some are; some are not. ECommerce/Micropayments is a closed Activity. I am not certain that UAAG can refer to [MICROPAYMENT] as anything more than a "Working Draft" or a "work in progress." When referring to "National" organizations, say USA National. The selectors in the local style sheet should all be lowercase (div, span, dt, dd, p, hr, img, ul, li) for XHTML. http://www.w3.org/TR/2001/CR-UAAG10-20010912/style/default.css Every chapter except cover could link to the style sheet http://www.w3.org/StyleSheets/TR/W3C-CR . I guess what you have makes sense for printing, but for online reading, the TR style sheet keeps "W3C Candidate Recommendation" in view at all times in smart browsers, part of the W3C brand. Compare to, for example, another multi-page Recommendation, XHTML 1.1. There could be a [next] or [next chapter] link at the bottom of cover. Globally, "level" or "Level" for WCAG (probably not both). Globally, Document Type Definition -> document type definition Below, minor editorial comments are a quote followed by a suggestion on the next line. Guidelines ========== In checkpoint 3.3 (guidelines, checklist and linear checklist), cut the period in "content. as". In the checklist and linear checklist, "This document has been produced as part of the Web Accessibility Initiative. WAI...." could say "...Web Accessibility Initiative (WAI). WAI...." Chapter 2 --------- Present the concepts of guidelines and checkpoints in the same order they are presented in the summary. Is there a reason to say "(P1)" instead of "(Priority 1)"? control"." control." "subject of the claim) "subject of the claim") They notes The notes interaction When interaction. When any rate of change at any rate of change functionality, not all of which causes functionality, not all of which cause (I think.) Web masters Webmasters (see http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?va=Webmaster) In 3.6 above "all three input modalities," there are two. In API ouput output the captions background the captions' background custom APIs may superior access custom APIs may offer superior access See also to checkpoint checkpoint 7.1. See also checkpoint 7.1. to a single-key to a single key Chapter 3 --------- It might be easier to follow the examples if the terms were given first. In other words, build up to a claim rather than take one apart. Just a thought. Chapter 4 --------- Could "state" be defined (if only in a definition that uses the term)? In Configure, control, this sentence is too long: Furthermore, the term "control" typically means that the change can be made easily (such as through a keyboard shortcut) and that the results of the change occur immediately, whereas the term "configure" typically means that making the change requires more time and effort (such as making the change via a series of menus leading to a dialog box, via style sheets or scripts, etc.) and that the results of the change may not take effect immediately (e.g., due to time spent reinitializing the system, initiating a new session, rebooting the system). becomes: Furthermore, the term "control" typically means that the change can be made easily (such as through a keyboard shortcut) and that the results of the change occur immediately. The term "configure" typically means that making the change requires more time and effort (such as making the change via a series of menus leading to a dialog box, via style sheets or scripts, etc.). The results of "configuration" might not take effect immediately (e.g., due to time spent reinitializing the system, initiating a new session, rebooting the system). Then a new paragraph could start before "In order to be able to...". Minor point in Content, "context" sounds like both content and text. 3. It is used in the context of the phrases non-text content and text content. becomes: 3. It is used in the terms non-text content and text content. (DOM) Level 2 Specifications (DOM) Level 2 specifications In Document character set: a "repertoire", A set A "repertoire": A set In "Element, element type," there is an extra comma after type. In Script: recognize For instance recognize. For instance In Text content...: There is a comma missing in "text equivalent non-text equivalent". or as Braille or as braille "invisible content" is marked up under Content like this: "<a id="def-invisible-content" name="def-invisible-content"><dfn><b>invisible content</b></dfn></a>" but Text content, non-text element, text equivalent, and non-text equivalent are simply quoted. Should they be bold? References ---------- Use the real titles of CSS1 and CSS2; "Recommendation" looks like it was added. CHARMOD needs an ending period. The How People with Disabilities Use the Web "How People with Disabilities Use the Web" [This one is also in the summary.] Summary ------- Present the concepts of guidelines and checkpoints in the same order they are presented in the spec. I clicked the [guidelines] link at the bottom and accidentally went to the 300+k single file. I think this link should go to the cover page (or to guidelines.html). Techniques ========== inUser in User stylesheet style sheet ouput output In the cover: in making the Web accessibility to in making the Web accessible to In Guidelines: the checkpoint Screen shots the checkpoint. Screen shots may wish to user may wish to use has a onMouseOver and onMouseOut event handlers has onMouseOver and onMouseOut event handlers Users with blindness, low vision, deafness, hard of hearing Users with blindness, low vision, or deafness, or who are hard of hearing instance,users instance, users interaction When interaction. When Re: "character set standards," I am not sure if that should read "coded character set standards," as "'character set' is considered harmful." Hertz hertz (arguably, lowercase unless abbreviated, when it's Hz) Web masters Webmasters research shows that some users prefer a black background behind white lettering is preferred. becomes research shows that some users prefer a black background behind white lettering. e.g., and audio viewport e.g., an audio viewport The quote in 6.7 has only one quotation mark (at the end). specifications. conformance specifications. Refer to conformance operating environments conventions operating environment conventions In checkpoint 10.3, this sentence looks lost under Who Benefits: For this checkpoint, and for others in this document, "color" includes black, white, and greys. It is important enough to mention in the introduction or glossary. The image link-configuration-opera needs cleaning up a bit. a label for form element a label for the form element Topics ------ "As shown in the following image" appears after the image jfw-html-options. Say "As shown in the image above...." TH s THs user interfaces for viewing and editing the input configuration needs user interfaces for viewing and editing the input configuration need taken(e.g. taken (e.g.. reading from left to right [Insert in brackets that this assumes a direction.] choose state by name choose a state by name tn1095 and tn1164 TN1095 and TN1164 on the MAC OS X on Mac OS X The Accessible Web Browser< The Accessible Web Browser [1] http://www.w3.org/TR/2001/CR-UAAG10-20010912/ [2] http://www.w3.org/TR/2001/WD-UAAG10-TECHS-20010912/ Best wishes for your project, -- Susan Lesch http://www.w3.org/People/Lesch/ mailto:lesch@w3.org tel:+1.858.483.4819 World Wide Web Consortium (W3C) http://www.w3.org/
Received on Saturday, 2 February 2002 03:30:54 UTC