1.2: Proposed rewording for definitions and notes

At today's telecon we discussed some of the issues around phrasing like
"dual, simultaneous attention" in the notes to Checkpoint 1.2.  Below are
some comments from a message I originally sent in May.  Hope they're useful.
The original message is at
http://lists.w3.org/Archives/Public/w3c-wai-gl/2002AprJun/0321.html
<http://lists.w3.org/Archives/Public/w3c-wai-gl/2002AprJun/0321.html> 

==Comments on 1.2 begin here==
Current wording under definitions for checkpoint 1.2:


audio descriptions are equivalents of visual information from actions, body
language, graphics, and scene changes that are voiced (either by a human or

a speech synthesizer) and synchronized with the multimedia presentation.



[js: Syntactically, the antecedent for "that" woulc be "changes," not
"equivalents of visual information...".




Suggested wording for definition of audio description:


audio descriptions are equivalents of visual information from actions, body
language, graphics, and scene changes.  Audio descriptions are voiced
(either by a human or

a speech synthesizer) and synchronized with the multimedia presentation."]




Current wording for note on time-dependent presentations and tracking
multiple events with a single sense:


Note:Time-dependent presentations that require dual, simultaneous attention
with a single sense can present significant barriers to some users.

[js: "dual, simultaneous attention with a single sense" is confusing.




Suggested wording for note on tracking multiple events with a single sense:


"Time-dependent presentations requiring people to use a single sense to
follow two or more things at the same time may present significant barriers
to some users."]



In the same example:


Current wording for later part of same note:


.... Where possible, provide

content so that it does not require dual, simultaneous attention or so that
it gives the user the ability to effectively control/pause different media

signals.

[js: The following revision is proposed for consistency with the previous
suggestion and for greater clarity.


Suggested wording for continuation of note about tracking multiple events
with a single sense:


"... Where possible, provide content so that it does not require tracking
multiple simultaneous events with the same sense, or give the user the
ability to effectively control different media signals independently.]



== comments end==

John Slatin, Ph.D.
Director, Institute for Technology & Learning
University of Texas at Austin
1 University Station G9600
FAC 248C
Austin, TX 78712
ph 512-495-4288, f 512-495-4524
email jslatin@mail.utexas.edu <mailto:jslatin@mail.utexas.edu> 
web http://www.ital.utexas.edu <http://www.ital.utexas.edu>