Re: Review Tutorials Cover Page

Hi Shawn,

See comments below:

On 11 Jul 2014, at 16:23, Shawn Henry wrote:
> Kevin White wrote:
>> Some minor things:
>> First para:
>> "… and improves the user experience for all audiences."
>> to
>> "… and improve the user experience for all audiences."
>
> I also stumbled on this sentence and started to suggest an correction, 
> but then realized that technically it was correct.
> Sentence before edit: "These tutorials show you how to create web 
> content that is accessible to people with disabilities and improves 
> the user experience for all audiences."
> Breaks down to: ... content that is accessible... and [that] improves 
> the user experience for all
>
> While it is grammatically correct, it doesn't flow well and I think we 
> want the first sentence of the tutorials to flow well. :)
>
> Playing with ideas:
> 1. These tutorials show you how to create web content that is 
> accessible to people with disabilities and that improves the user 
> experience for all audiences.
> 2. These tutorials show you how to create web content that is 
> accessible to people with disabilities, which improves the user 
> experience for all audiences.
> *Tangent* Do we want to say "users" instead of "audiences" here? The 
> primary target audience of the tutorials is developers and it seems 
> "users" might be better for them? Or even "everybody"?
> 3. These tutorials show you how to create web content that is 
> accessible to people with disabilities and [that] provides a better 
> user experience for everyone.
> *Tangent* Given the primary target audience of the tutorials is 
> developers, should we say "develop" instead of "create"?
> 4. These tutorials show you how to develop web content that is 
> accessible to people with disabilities and [that] provides a better 
> user experience for everyone.
> (I can't decide whether it's better with the "that" or not...)
> 5. ...
> *EOWG*: Other ideas?

I have changed the text to number 4, as I think it's the most concise 
one of the ideas you've been playing with.

>
>> ‘All Tutorials’ seems a bit passive to me… not sure what I 
>> would use instead … just jars a little I guess.
>
> I also didn't like "All Tutorials". Maybe "Tutorial Topics"?

I have changed the headache to “tutorial topics”. I'm fine with it 
but open for other suggestions.

>
> Best,
> ~Shawn




--

Eric Eggert, Web Accessibility Specialist
WAI-ACT Project

I’m yatil on IRC.