Re: Job opening: Director of Wisdom Retrieval in Dept. of Web Semantics

And wishes for a fruitful April Fools Day to you too, Sarven.

In personal conversations with Marshall McLuhan's Natural Language Programming Script Watson was running last year, I brought up the "leaping tall buildings in a single bound" requirement.  Apparently, Watson is playing dumb about this requirement now.

The requirement has incremental implementation safety hazards and just plain dangerous for the novice Director of Wisdom Retrieval.  Elevators do not always go to the top, as we all know.

This is outrageous !!!  I want everyone to know this was my idea not Watson's.  He stole my business method for cautionary warnings.  Patented, mind you.  My Solicitors tell me that this "Watson" creep is as vulnerable as a Lime Jello(tm) Armadillo crossing a West Texas Highway.

The only other paltry evidence, from a Web Site rife with tired and emotional rants:
"Only puny secrets need protection. Big discoveries are protected by public incredulity."

-- H. Marshall McLuhan (1911-1980)
(http://marshallmcluhan.com/mcluhanisms/)

Cheers,

Gannon
--------------------------------------------
On Sat, 4/1/17, Sarven Capadisli <info@csarven.ca> wrote:

 Subject: Job opening: Director of Wisdom Retrieval in Dept. of Web Semantics
 To: "Linking Open Data" <public-lod@w3.org>, "W3C Semantic Web IG" <semantic-web@w3.org>
 Date: Saturday, April 1, 2017, 12:17 AM
 
 [Forwarding on behalf of Dr. McLuhan of the
 Department of Web Semantics
 at University of Risa]
 
 # Director of Wisdom Retrieval and
 Dissemination
 
 The Department of Web Semantics at
 University of Risa is an established
 team of researchers and post-docs,
 looking for a new Director to help us
 ensure the Web catches on. We
 specialise in converting public funding
 into carefully guarded, irrefutable
 knowledge, entrusted to profitable
 third parties who ensure exclusive
 access. To this end, you will lead us
 in conducting pioneering research in
 Web Science and Semantic Web
 technologies in preparation for a
 semantics-driven future.
 
 365 Month Fixed Term Contract,
 Full-Time
 
 Application closing date:
 2017-04-01T23:59:59-12:00
 
 
 ## Required Qualifications
 In addition to the following required
 qualifications, candidates must
 have 35 years of experience in Web
 Science or in related disciplines.
 
 * Experience with Semantic Web
 technologies, including RDF, SPARQL, OWL
 reasoners and mailing lists
 * A working knowledge of all W3C
 specifications and IETF RFCs
 * Ability to generate complex diagrams
 and slideshows
 * Understanding the necessary hashtags
 * Ability to jump through hoops
 * Good handwriting
 
 
 ## Responsibilities
 * Generating spurious correlations and
 supervising authorship of
 academic papers
 * Correcting LaTeX syntax and
 compositing PDF documents
 * Ensuring documents have the right
 fonts and margins, and conform to
 other arbitrary third-party publisher
 constraints (50% of allotted hours)
 * Establishing Web of Trust
 * Overseeing SOP, CORS, Web security
 and credentials issues, and ink
 levels in our department printers
 * Choosing between http and https for
 namespaces
 * Converting our hot URIs to cool ones
 
 
 ## Equal Opportunities Policy
 University of Risa is an equal
 opportunities employer and is committed
 to the employment policies, procedures
 and practices which do not
 discriminate on grounds such as
 favourite RDF syntax, text editor
 preferences, tabs vs spaces, position
 on HTTPRange-14, opinion on
 schema.org, belief on the existence or
 utility of blank nodes, past W3C
 Working Group involvement, whose side
 you are on in the EME debate, or
 other technological orientations and
 memberships.
 
 
 ## Application Procedure
 Candidates should submit (email or fax)
 a screenshot/photo of their CV
 and cover letter (1x Postcard maximum),
 or mail a printout to:
 
 University of Risa
 c/o Subspace Green Recycling
 742 Evergreen Terrace
 Springfield, US
 
 
 -Sarven
 http://csarven.ca/#i

Received on Saturday, 1 April 2017 20:02:07 UTC