home page redo -- feedback on writing needed

Hi folks,
I've been revising the proposed home page this week, after meetings with
Julee and Doug to get their input.

Here's the latest: http://webplatform.jensimmons.com/design/

Still ignore the visual design. Think of this as more of a wireframe. What
do you think of the *content?* Got any proposed improvements on the
writing? Ways to say the same thing in fewer, or snappier, words? Any
phrases that won't work well internationally? Anything missing?

The bottom half of the page -- the whole section about contributing -- is the
newest... be sure to read it fully.

Thanks!

Jen



Jen Simmons
designer, consultant and speaker
host of The Web Ahead
jensimmons.com
5by5.tv/webahead
twitter: jensimmons <http://twitter.com/jensimmons>