Re: Yoshio's review

Seaborne, Andy wrote:
> Yoshio - thanke for the comments.
> 
> Now some sections in the document are settling down, I think we can work on the 
> presentation of examples.
> 
> Up to now, given no autmatic generation of numbering etc for HTML, we have been 
> avoiding it because of the maintenance overhead.
> 
> 	Andy
> 
> Yoshio FUKUSHIGE wrote:
> 
>>Hi all,
>>
>>I have to send regrets for the next telecon (for travelling to Boston).
>>
>>I'm reviewing the SPARQL editor's draft and this is my comment so far:
>>
>>Though I haven't read through all the part to be reviewd,
>>I feel need for clarifying the construction of the document:
>>
>>(1) An example should be delimited with a preceding example number and some 
>>special
>>character telling the end of an example.
>>
>>(2) There is considerable redunduncy (repetions), which may puzzle readers.
>>I prefer the style with definitions first and examples later.
>>Some terms are used before their definitions.

Kevin asked for the same.  I will rearrange to put definition first but this is 
not likely before the next WD publication because people are rvewing the 
document at the moment and because it needs a little more time to then make the 
text read correctly.

>>
>>(3) Putting short headlines or keywords before paragraphs introducing new 
>>concepts
>>makes it clearer. I see some of them in section 10 and I want them to appear 
>>everywhere.

Those are just <h4>'s which come out a bold headings.  I will try to put more 
headings to clearly state what the para is about - maybe not in time of the WD. 
  Makes it read less fluidly but I don't see that we are just writing a mega doc 
that is assumed to be read top-to-bottom; I guess people wil alsoi dip into to 
particular sections.

>>
>>I know I should write in more concrete way, but I haven't enough time before
>>travelling.
>>
>>I will report more line-by-line manner later, but I first want to know
>>what other people feel.
>>
>>Best,
>>Yoshio
>>fukushige.yoshio@jp.panasonic.com
>>fuku@w3.org
>>
>>
>>
>>
> 
> 
> 

Received on Thursday, 2 December 2004 11:33:44 UTC