Re: Review of Primer part 1

Also, quick note re English
Danny Ayers wrote:
>  
>
> = General comments =
>
> Here and there the English could be plainer - quite a few long
> sentences that could probably be split up
TELL me where there are long sentences and I'll split them up.
> Aside: had a friend here last week who knew the purpose of GRDDL but
> hadn't looked into the details. I had the Primer open, so tried to go
> through the different approaches from there. Couldn't really, had to
> refer back to the spec right away. I don't think this suggests any
> change to the primer, but anyone with time on their hands might
> consider making a separate (informative) A4 cheatsheet like these:
> http://www.dajobe.org/2005/04-sparql/
Ouch. So, he could not learn GRDDL from Primer without refering to Spec?
Could you add some details?
And I concur - a cheatsheet would be great. Perhaps as an action item
for someone next meeting...

> http://ebiquity.umbc.edu/resource/html/id/94/
>
>
> *** Introduction
> "uniform XML dialects" - is it reasonably obvious what these are? (I
> don't know)
>
> -
>
> "...a standard transform library has been provided that can extract
> RDF that's embedded directly in XML or HTML using <rdf:RDF> tags as
> well as extract any profile transformations."
>
> I suspect this is confusing - sounds like you might be looking at:
> <html>
> ...
> <rdf:RDF>....</rdf:RDF>
> ...
> </html>
>
> Can't think of good alternate text offhand, sorry
>
> -
>
> "In this document the term HTML is used to refer to the XHTML dialect
> of HTML."
>
> I suggest moving this line to follow the first sentence of the
> Introduction.
>
> *** Scheduling a Meeting
>
> s/Scheduling a Meeting/Example : Scheduling a Meeting
>
> -
> (para after code block)
> "In HTML, profiles are used to link documents to descriptions of the
> metadata schemes they employ."
> =>
> "In HTML, profiles are used to link documents to descriptions of the
> metadata schemes they emplo (see HTML specification, <a
> href="http://www.w3.org/TR/html401/struct/global.html#h-7.4.4.3">Meta
> data profiles</a>)."
>
> -
>
> "She can either write her own transformation or re-use an existing set."
> =>
> "She can either write her own transformation or re-use an existing
> transformation, in this case there's one available for calendar data."
>
> (Not sure about that replacement text, but the current version does
> seem a bit unclear).
>
> -
>
> example at:
> http://www.w3.org/2001/sw/grddl-wg/doc29/robin-hcal-grddl.html
> confirmed working with local xslt & Dom's online demo
>
> -
>
> *** Referencing Via Profile Documents
>
> s/Referencing Via Profile Documents/Using Profile Documents ?
>
> (or maybe "Referencing through Profile Documents"? - it currently
> seems a bit arcane)
>
> -
>
> (first para)
> "This is done by referencing GRDDL transformations in a profile
> document referenced in the head of the HTML or namespace document for
> XML vocabularies in general."
> =>
> "This is done by referencing GRDDL transformations in a profile
> document referenced in the head of the HTML. Other XML vocabularies
> may use their namespace documents for the same purpose."
>
> (again, not sure about the replacement, but the original seems a bit
> clunky)
>
> -
>
> "Yet this is a good use of time, since once the tranformation has been
> linked to the profile or namespace document, all the users of the
> dialect get the added value of RDF."
>
> s/Yet/But ?
> s/tranformation/transformation
>
> (soon after)
> s/tranforamtion/transformation
>
> -
>
> "Microformat-enabled web-pages on the Web may not be valid XHTML..."
>
> move this to the end of the introduction? format as block note?
>
> -
>
> "a process that is tiresome and often prone to human error"
> =>
> "a process that is tiresome and prone to human error"
>
> -
>
> (the SPARQL)
> newline prior to SELECT
>
> could do with a little explanation
>
> (to be continued...)
>
>


-- 
  -harry

Harry Halpin,  University of Edinburgh 
http://www.ibiblio.org/hhalpin 6B522426

Received on Sunday, 24 June 2007 20:08:04 UTC