Review of Primer part 1

Version 83. All minor editorial here.

I've got as far as the first SPARQL example, there's at least one
mistake there (6 variables in query, only 4 in result), will
check/send correction shortly.

= General comments =

Here and there the English could be plainer - quite a few long
sentences that could probably be split up

Aside : had a friend here last week who knew the purpose of GRDDL but
hadn't looked into the details. I had the Primer open, so tried to go
through the different approaches from there. Couldn't really, had to
refer back to the spec right away. I don't think this suggests any
change to the primer, but anyone with time on their hands might
consider making a separate (informative) A4 cheatsheet like these:
http://www.dajobe.org/2005/04-sparql/
http://ebiquity.umbc.edu/resource/html/id/94/


*** Introduction
"uniform XML dialects" - is it reasonably obvious what these are? (I don't know)

-

"...a standard transform library has been provided that can extract
RDF that's embedded directly in XML or HTML using <rdf:RDF> tags as
well as extract any profile transformations."

I suspect this is confusing - sounds like you might be looking at:
<html>
...
<rdf:RDF>....</rdf:RDF>
...
</html>

Can't think of good alternate text offhand, sorry

-

"In this document the term HTML is used to refer to the XHTML dialect of HTML."

I suggest moving this line to follow the first sentence of the Introduction.

*** Scheduling a Meeting

s/Scheduling a Meeting/Example : Scheduling a Meeting

-
(para after code block)
"In HTML, profiles are used to link documents to descriptions of the
metadata schemes they employ."
=>
"In HTML, profiles are used to link documents to descriptions of the
metadata schemes they emplo (see HTML specification, <a
href="http://www.w3.org/TR/html401/struct/global.html#h-7.4.4.3">Meta
data profiles</a>)."

-

"She can either write her own transformation or re-use an existing set."
=>
"She can either write her own transformation or re-use an existing
transformation, in this case there's one available for calendar data."

(Not sure about that replacement text, but the current version does
seem a bit unclear).

-

example at:
http://www.w3.org/2001/sw/grddl-wg/doc29/robin-hcal-grddl.html
confirmed working with local xslt & Dom's online demo

-

*** Referencing Via Profile Documents

s/Referencing Via Profile Documents/Using Profile Documents ?

(or maybe "Referencing through Profile Documents"? - it currently
seems a bit arcane)

-

(first para)
"This is done by referencing GRDDL transformations in a profile
document referenced in the head of the HTML or namespace document for
XML vocabularies in general."
=>
"This is done by referencing GRDDL transformations in a profile
document referenced in the head of the HTML. Other XML vocabularies
may use their namespace documents for the same purpose."

(again, not sure about the replacement, but the original seems a bit clunky)

-

"Yet this is a good use of time, since once the tranformation has been
linked to the profile or namespace document, all the users of the
dialect get the added value of RDF."

s/Yet/But ?
s/tranformation/transformation

(soon after)
s/tranforamtion/transformation

-

"Microformat-enabled web-pages on the Web may not be valid XHTML..."

move this to the end of the introduction? format as block note?

-

"a process that is tiresome and often prone to human error"
=>
"a process that is tiresome and prone to human error"

-

(the SPARQL)
newline prior to SELECT

could do with a little explanation

(to be continued...)


-- 

http://dannyayers.com

Received on Saturday, 23 June 2007 09:45:52 UTC