Comments on Primer draft (NO-GO)

[I believe this concludes my action from the last telecon]

Something I missed in my skim - the "Booking a Hotel Example" markup
is broken (see previous mail). This example could also do with more
explanation, right now it's pretty confusing - taken together I
believe this is cause to postpone request for Last Call on this doc
until these issues have been addressed.

Otherwise, generally ok. There were quite a few long sentences that
might be easier to read split up a bit, the English isn't exactly
plain.

Specific suggestions:
----

*** Abstract
[[
Clients reading the document can follow their nose using techniques
described in the GRDDL specification to discover the appropriate
transformations.
]]
I really like "follow your nose", but somehow it doesn't feel right
here - not sure, maybe add something like "...across the web".

*** Introduction
[[
GRDDL provides a relatively inexpensive set of mechanisms for
bootstrapping RDF content from uniform XML dialects in such a way as
to shift the burden of formulating RDF to transformation algorithms
written specifically for these dialects. XML Transformation languages
such as XSLT are quite versatile in their ability to process,
manipulate, and generate XML and the use of XSLT to generate XHTML
from single-purpose XML vocabularies is historically celebrated as a
powerful idiom for separating structured content from presentation.
]]
=>
[[
GRDDL provides a relatively inexpensive set of mechanisms for
extracting RDF content from XML dialects. It shifts the burden of
generating RDF away from the publisher to transformation algorithms
written specifically for these dialects. XML Transformation languages
such as XSLT are versatile in their ability to process, manipulate,
and generate XML and the use of XSLT to generate XHTML from
single-purpose XML vocabularies is historically celebrated as a
powerful idiom for separating structured content from presentation.
]]

[[
GRDDL shifts this idiom...
]]
s/shifts/uses
swap the hyphen in this paragraph for a comma

[[
GRDDL works through associating transformations with an individual
document either through direct inclusion of references or indirectly
through profile documents. Content authors can nominate the
transformations for producing RDF from their content and use GRDDL to
refer to them.
...
]]
=>
[[
GRDDL works through associating transformations with an individual
document either through direct inclusion of references or indirectly
through profile documents or schemas. Content authors can
independently nominate the transformations for producing RDF from
their content.
...
]]

[[
In this document the term HTML is used to refer to the XHTML dialect of HTML.
]]
- hmm, do we need to say something like "...in its current form the
GRDDL mechanism relies on XML processing" ?

*** Scheduling Example
* Referencing Via Profile Documents

Perhaps add a note saying there isn't yet a profile for hCalendar.

[[
A diagram indicating the sequence of steps for obtaining RDF from a
document using the profile URI as described in the preceding paragraph
]]
typo .


*** Booking a Hotel Example
[[
Another choice is to use microformats. Microformats define simple
formats which can easily convert between HTML and RDF through the use
of GRDDL, and this includes formats for hCard.One microformat that
allows for more information about friends to be gleaned from the
document is XFN. XFN is the XHTML Friends Network.
]]
(microformats have already been introduced)
=>
[[
Another choice is to use microformats. A microformat that allows for
more information about friends to be gleaned from the document is XFN,
"XHTML Friends Network".
]]

[[
This SPAQRL query...
]]
typo

RDF/XML is broken.

This example could really do with a summary of the datasource,
transform and query pipelines - a diagram would help a lot.

*** XML Documents in Health Care

"CDA" - expand acronym on first use

There are a bunch of @@TODOs here, but otherwise seems ok (bit more
explanatory text wouldn't hurt).

*** References

s/This output can be regenerated/This list can be regenerated

- a bit more explanation wouldn't go amiss.


-- 

http://dannyayers.com

Received on Wednesday, 14 February 2007 12:09:13 UTC