- From: Ronald P. Reck <rreck@rrecktek.com>
- Date: Sun, 04 Feb 2007 14:58:32 -0500
- To: public-grddl-wg@w3.org
http://www.w3.org/TR/grddl-primer/ These are changes I recommend to the primer version 1.4 (I think, I'm not exactly sure how to read the change log correctly) 1. current> Clients reading the document can follow their nose using techniques described in the GRDDL specification to discover the appropriate transformations. rationale: I believe using the word 'client' in this context refers to humans. I think 'client' is an overloaded term and might be replaced with 'authors' for continuity from the 2 sentences previous. I recommend removing "using techniques" to the active form 'use'. change> (Authors of information | Data providers) reading the document can use the techniques described in the GRDDL specification to discover the appropriate transformation. 2. current> to illustrate in detail the techniques GRDDL provides for associating documents with appropriate instructions for extracting any embedded data. rationale: simplfy the sentence construction. change> to detail the techniques GRDDL provides for relating documents with the instructions for extracting embedded data. 3. current> This is a First Public Working Draft of the GRDDL Primer. rationale: I do not understand the use of in the indefinate article in this context and believe it should be changed to 'the' for consistency with the definate articles in the sentences that follow: this draft, the document, this primer change> This is the First Public Working Draft of the GRDDL Primer. 4. current> GRDDL is intended to contribute to addressing Web Architecture issues such as rationale: simplify the sentence construction change> GRDDL's contribution intends to address Web Architecture issues such as 5. current> GRDDL provides a relatively inexpensive set of mechanisms for bootstrapping RDF content from uniform XML dialects in such a way as to shift the burden of formulating RDF to transformation algorithms written specifically for these dialects. rationale: simplify the sentence construction by creating two sentences change> GRDDL provides an inexpensive set of mechanisms to bootstrap RDF content from uniform XML dialects. This reduces the direct burden on content providers for formulating the RDF needed to create transformation algorithms written specifically for these dialects. 6. current> If Stephan was looking for a guitar with a specific review rating or higher from a his group of friends, we now have enough data in RDF to do just that: rationale: I believe there is one too many words in this sentence. Create a compound sentence by adding a conjunction. We shouldnt consider 'if' Stephan intends to do so since it is the point of the use case. By creating a declarative sentence we build a stronger case. change> Stephan was looking for a guitar with a specific review rating or higher from his group of friends, and now we have enough data in RDF to do just that: 7. current> This can display the results on screen, email them to Stephan or it can be pulled into another application to search the web for the best prices on the short list of guitars. rationale: I believe there is a problem with number agreement. 'Results' is plural but then is referred to using the pronoun 'it'. 'They' may be the proper pronoun in this situation. change> This can display the results on screen, email them to Stephan or they can be pulled into another application to search the web for the best prices on the short list of guitars. 8. current>In this document the term HTML is used to refer to the XHTML dialect of HTML. rationale: simplify change> The term 'HTML' in this document refers to the XHTML dialect of HTML. 9. current>In this use case Jane, a frequent traveller, is trying to schedule a meeting with three of her friends. rationale: simplify; When the sentence is declarative the action changes from something trying to be accomplished to something that is accomplished. change>In this use case, a frequent traveller named Jane schedules a meeting with three friends. 10 current>GRDDL provides a number of ways for GRDDL Transformations to be associated with content, each of which is appropriate in different situations. rationale: simplify change>GRDDL can be used to associate transformations and content differently in different situations. 11 current> In our example one of Jane's friends has marked up their schedule using the hCalendar microformat. The hCalendar microformat uses HTML class attributes to associate event related semantics with elements in the markup rationale: simplify change> In our example, one of Jane's friends (uses | employs) the hCalendar microformat to mark up her schedule. The hCalendar microformat associates event related semantics and elements (using | with) HTML class attributes. 12 current> To explicitly relate the data in this document to the RDF data model the author needs to make two changes. rationale: change the sentence to a declarative change> The author can explicitly relate the data in this document to the RDF data model with two simple changes. 13 current> Then she needs to add a link element containing the reference to the specific instructions for converting HTML containing hCalendar patterns into RDF. rationale: Since this is the second of a two step procedure, it would lend continuity to the process to replace 'then' with 'second', or 'secondly'. change> Secondly, she needs to add a link element containing the reference to the specific instructions for converting HTML containing hCalendar patterns into RDF. 14 current> In our example another of Jane's friends, David, has chosen to mark up his schedule using Embedded RDF: rationale: simplify change> In our example Jane's friend David marks up his schedule using Embedded RDF: 15 current> Note that in this document the profile attribute does not contain a reference to the GRDDL profile. rationale: I would replace the possibly ambiguous 'this document' with 'David's schedule'. change> Note that in David's schedule the profile attribute does not contain a reference to the GRDDL profile. 16 current> In this case the profile transformation refers to a a stylesheet that can convert HTML containing Embedded RDF into RDF/XML. rationale: I believe there is a mistake because are two 'a''s . change> In this case the profile transformation refers to a stylesheet that can convert HTML containing Embedded RDF into RDF/XML. 17 current> There are various special interest publications online which feature musical instrument reviews and could be blogs which contain reviews by individuals. rationale: I dont understand the sentence change> There are various special interest publications online featuring musical instrument reviews or blogs which contain reviews made by individuals. 18 current> Among the reviewers there may be friends of Stephan and people whose opinion Stephan values rationale: Removing 'may' creates a more compelling arguement. change> Online reviewers include Stephan's friends and people whose opinion Stephan values. 19 current> There may also be reviews planted by instrument manufacturers which offer very biased views. rationale: This is a great thing to point out! change> Stephan (wants | wishes | intends) to avoid any biased reviews planted by instrument manufacturers. 20 current> With all of these tools we can find Stephan's friends and find the guitar reviews that those friends created. rationale: I think Stephan is doing the activity not us. change> These tools empower Stephan to find his friend' s guitar reviews. 21 current> Using GRDDL we can glean information about the guitar in the form of product specifications supplied by the manufacturer and reviews from site members. Once we have this data as RDF we can run queries can be run on it using SPARQL. SPARQL (The SPARQL Protocol and RDF Query Language) is a query language for RDF. rationale: Like above, I think there was a shift away from Stephan performing the action. change> Using GRDDL Stephan gleans the guitar guitar product specifications supplied by the manufacturer and reviews from site members. Once he has this data as RDF its straightforward to query it using SPARQL. SPARQL (The SPARQL Protocol and RDF Query Language) is a query language for RDF. 22 current> If Stephan was looking for a guitar with a specific review rating or higher from a his group of friends, we now have enough data in RDF to do just that: rationale: Like above, I think there was a shift away from Stephan performing the action. I also think there is an additional 'a'. change> Stephan can limit his search for a guitar with a specific review rating or higher from his group of friends, he now has enough data in RDF to do just that: 23 current> Once we have all the matching reviews, we can then restrict the data so that the reviews are all those by Stephan's friends. From the XFN links in Stephan's page which identify people Stephan trusts, we can match URIs to other locations where they have been asserted (the guitar review page for instance). rationale: Like above, I think there was a shift away from Stephan performing the action. change> Once the results set is limited to the matching reviews, then there can be further restrictions so that the reviews are all those by Stephan's friends. From the XFN links in Stephan's page which identify people Stephan trusts, he can match URIs to other locations where they have been asserted (the guitar review page for instance).
Received on Sunday, 4 February 2007 19:57:57 UTC