Quick review of the primer (was Updated Primer)

Hello,

I reviewed the document as it was the 9th of September 2006 at 14:00Z
http://research.talis.com/2006/grddl-wg/primer.html

First of all the document is great; it is a very good start for the primer.

I have a few few remarks and suggestions:

== Scheduling example
At the top of the scheduling example I would insert a link to the 
corresponding use case:
http://www.w3.org/2001/sw/grddl-wg/doc43/scenario-gallery.htm#use_case_1

I think the first paragraph of the section "Linking to a GRDDL 
Transform" in the "Scheduling Example" should be moved to the 
introduction : "GRDDL is designed to allow (...) XSLT 1.0 document.
Although I am not a native speaker, I think there is a typo: 
"permissable" -> "permissible"

Then the second paragraph should be adapted:
"GRDDL provides a number of ways for the GRDDL Transformations to be 
associated with content, each of which is appropriate in different 
situations (...)

"TODO: pretty diagram of this process"
Here is a proposal of a schema reusing the graphical charter of the use case
http://www-sop.inria.fr/acacia/personnel/Fabien.Gandon/tmp/grddl/hCalendar.png

First sentence of "Referencing Via Profile Documents"
"Another way to associate GRDDL instructions with an [XHTML Document] (...)"
Second sentence "(...) requires that the profile document [contains] 
GRDDL (...)"

Next to last paragraph: "(...) it expects that the [instructions] 
identified by (...)"

Also, here is a possible schema for this section:
http://www-sop.inria.fr/acacia/personnel/Fabien.Gandon/tmp/grddl/embeddedRDF.png


== Buying a Guitar Example
There should be a pointer to the use case:
http://www.w3.org/2001/sw/grddl-wg/doc43/scenario-gallery.htm#use_case_3

"Microformats define (to) simple formats which (...)"

"(...) consolidation is that it allows us(e) to glean data from (...)"


== PS
Reading these examples I also tried to improve the one I am building for 
RDFa:
http://www-sop.inria.fr/acacia/personnel/Fabien.Gandon/tmp/grddl/rdfaprimer/PrimerRDFaSection.html


-- 
"The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality.
 The last is to say thank you."
                -- Max DePree.
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Received on Saturday, 9 September 2006 15:51:15 UTC