RE: [EXTERNAL] EO's Luis script: COGA input needed by this Friday at 6pm ET

Thank you, Julie, for sharing. I missed joining the EO video sessions y'day!  The scripts look great, added comments for a couple of suggestions in the script document, feel free to add if they best fit.


From: Julie Rawe <>
Sent: Wednesday, September 14, 2022 4:33 PM
Subject: [EXTERNAL] EO's Luis script: COGA input needed by this Friday at 6pm ET

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Hi, folks, this is the second of four scripts with consolidated COGA feedback that we're asking you to review before we send it to EO.

Background (same background I sent in yesterday's Preety email):
COGA had a good meeting on Monday with Shadi from EO. He asked us to submit consolidated feedback via Github, instead of asynchronously filling out EO's survey. We agreed to his request.

To meet EO's 9/26 deadline, COGA has spent several hours at TPAC discussing the 4 EO scripts that involve cognitive and learning disabilities. We will send each of the 4 scripts out as soon as they are ready and will try to give you two days to respond to each one.

Your Luis input is needed by this Friday, September 16, at 6pm ET:
Please review this Luis script<> and use margin comments:
* If you have any objections to the changes we're suggesting in red or to the explanations for these changes, or
* If you think something essential is missing from EO's script and/or our feedback.

Special note about the Luis script:

  *   Earlier this week COGA brainstormed several major changes to Luis's story arc, including giving him a different job that connects his employment to his love of basketball.
  *   But today John Rochford and Michael Cooper recommended we prioritize the must-have's and deprioritize the nice-to-have's.
  *   For example:

     *   It is essential to avoid infantilizing Luis. This can be achieved by mentioning early in the script that he is an employed adult.
     *   It would be nice but is not essential to change his job from working at a library to working at a stadium.
Special thanks:
Thanks so much for COGA's flexibility as we hustle to meet EO's very tight deadline, which is based on the need to finish producing this video series by the end of the year or else lose the funding for it.

And extra special thanks to John Rochford and new COGA member Rebecca Politis for your very helpful feedback about Down syndrome for this script.

With appreciation,


Julie Rawe

Special Projects Editor, Editorial Content, Understood


Pronounced Joo-lee Raw (like 'uncooked')

She | her

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Received on Thursday, 15 September 2022 13:54:26 UTC