Re: editing suggs for Social Biz Workshop pages

Brilliant Ann! I'll add these changes in and give it a proofread. I'll 
also try to rope in another set of eyes from W3C staff as well.

On 05/15/2013 08:15 PM, Bassetti, Ann wrote:
>
> *HOME PAGE: * http://www.w3.org/2013/socialweb/Overview.html
>
> A) First bullet of 2^nd para, **are** should be deleted:
>
> What are the use-cases and requirements **are** driving social 
> business and what is its overall architecture?
>
> B) 3^rd bullet of 2^nd para, **what** could be deleted, OR the 
> sentence re-written per the second example, below:
>
> Current:  Are there the current problems facing social business and 
> **what** technologies that could and should be standardized?
>
> Proposed:  What are the current problems facing social business and 
> which technologies could and should be standardized?
>
> C) Last bullet, should "Pubsubhubbub" be capitalized, as "PubSubHubbub"?
>
> D) In the list of the Program Committee:
>
> -- Amit Goel, University of Central Floria <http://www.ucf.edu/> .. 
> .Florida is misspelled
>
> -- Ashok's last name is misspelled...  should be "Malhotra" (from Oracle)
>
> *GOALS AND SCOPE:* http://www.w3.org/2013/socialweb/topics.html 
> <http://www.w3.org/2013/socialweb/topics.html>
>
> A) Last sentence, 3^rd paragraph, missing something in last sentence:
>
> This will take the place of a final report for the workshop and a 
> possible draft Working Group charter(s). produce a roadmap with a 
> possible draft Working Group charter(s) towards.
>
> B) 1^st sentence, 4^th para, is awkward ... too long; runs on:
>
> The scope will be open, but with a focus on social business; as one 
> area where these technologies are already used with great effect is 
> the emerging field of social business, as championed by the W3C by the 
> W3C Social Business Community Group 
> <http://www.w3.org/community/socbizcg/>.
>
> C) Last para, 2^nd to last sentence, 2 points:
>
> Based on the findings of a W3C Social Business Jam 
> <http://www.w3.org/2011/socialbusiness-jam/report>, a a task force and 
> the W3C Social Business Group <http://www.w3.org/community/socbizcg/> 
> created a draft map 
> <http://www.w3.org/community/socbizcg/wiki/File:Social_ppt-JeffJ_intro_for_AC_v3-1.pptx> 
> of the landscape.
>
> a) "a a task force"
>
> b) The link to the "map" of the landscape currently goes to Jeff's PPT 
> presentation from AC meeting last year, within in which is embedded 
> the diagram.  I suggest pulling those pages out, posting them 
> separately somewhere, so there can be a direct link to the diagram(s).
>
> *PARTICIPATION:* http://www.w3.org/2013/socialweb/participate.html 
> <http://www.w3.org/2013/socialweb/participate.html>
>
> A) You probably know that "@@wiki" is awaiting a link, under 
> "Experessions of Interest"
>
> B) In the 2^nd bullet list, 2^nd bullet:
>
> Overasll social Business architecture
>
> a) "Overall" is misspelled
>
> b) Seems like "social Business" should either both be capitalized, or 
> neither
>
> **
>
> *WHO SHOULD ATTEND?* http://www.w3.org/2013/socialweb/attend.html 
> <http://www.w3.org/2013/socialweb/attend.html>
>
> A) 2^nd bullet .. "business" is misspelled:
>
> Companies interested in or already using social busiess models.
>
> B) 5^th bullet ... missing closing paragraph mark:
>
> Developers and software companies with experience of success in 
> defining and implementing social web architecture components and 
> solutions (including both experiences of success and failure in order 
> to determine what went wrong, what needs to change
>
> ----------------------------------
>
> Hope this is helpful -- Ann
>
> Ann Bassetti
> Associate Technical Fellow
> Boeing Information Technology
> Global Collaboration Technologies
> mobile: +1.206.218.8039
> email: ann.bassetti@boeing.com
>