Re: editing suggs for Social Biz Workshop pages

On 05/15/2013 08:19 PM, Harry Halpin wrote:
> Brilliant Ann! I'll add these changes in and give it a proofread. I'll 
> also try to rope in another set of eyes from W3C staff as well.

All edits in and ready to ship!

Thanks all!

>
> On 05/15/2013 08:15 PM, Bassetti, Ann wrote:
>>
>> *HOME PAGE: * http://www.w3.org/2013/socialweb/Overview.html
>>
>> A) First bullet of 2^nd para, **are** should be deleted:
>>
>> What are the use-cases and requirements **are** driving social 
>> business and what is its overall architecture?
>>
>> B) 3^rd bullet of 2^nd para, **what** could be deleted, OR the 
>> sentence re-written per the second example, below:
>>
>> Current:  Are there the current problems facing social business and 
>> **what** technologies that could and should be standardized?
>>
>> Proposed:  What are the current problems facing social business and 
>> which technologies could and should be standardized?
>>
>> C) Last bullet, should "Pubsubhubbub" be capitalized, as "PubSubHubbub"?
>>
>> D) In the list of the Program Committee:
>>
>> -- Amit Goel, University of Central Floria <http://www.ucf.edu/> .. 
>> .Florida is misspelled
>>
>> -- Ashok's last name is misspelled...  should be "Malhotra" (from Oracle)
>>
>> *GOALS AND SCOPE:* http://www.w3.org/2013/socialweb/topics.html 
>> <http://www.w3.org/2013/socialweb/topics.html>
>>
>> A) Last sentence, 3^rd paragraph, missing something in last sentence:
>>
>> This will take the place of a final report for the workshop and a 
>> possible draft Working Group charter(s). produce a roadmap with a 
>> possible draft Working Group charter(s) towards.
>>
>> B) 1^st sentence, 4^th para, is awkward ... too long; runs on:
>>
>> The scope will be open, but with a focus on social business; as one 
>> area where these technologies are already used with great effect is 
>> the emerging field of social business, as championed by the W3C by 
>> the W3C Social Business Community Group 
>> <http://www.w3.org/community/socbizcg/>.
>>
>> C) Last para, 2^nd to last sentence, 2 points:
>>
>> Based on the findings of a W3C Social Business Jam 
>> <http://www.w3.org/2011/socialbusiness-jam/report>, a a task force 
>> and the W3C Social Business Group 
>> <http://www.w3.org/community/socbizcg/> created a draft map 
>> <http://www.w3.org/community/socbizcg/wiki/File:Social_ppt-JeffJ_intro_for_AC_v3-1.pptx> 
>> of the landscape.
>>
>> a) "a a task force"
>>
>> b) The link to the "map" of the landscape currently goes to Jeff's 
>> PPT presentation from AC meeting last year, within in which is 
>> embedded the diagram.  I suggest pulling those pages out, posting 
>> them separately somewhere, so there can be a direct link to the 
>> diagram(s).
>>
>> *PARTICIPATION:* http://www.w3.org/2013/socialweb/participate.html 
>> <http://www.w3.org/2013/socialweb/participate.html>
>>
>> A) You probably know that "@@wiki" is awaiting a link, under 
>> "Experessions of Interest"
>>
>> B) In the 2^nd bullet list, 2^nd bullet:
>>
>> Overasll social Business architecture
>>
>> a) "Overall" is misspelled
>>
>> b) Seems like "social Business" should either both be capitalized, or 
>> neither
>>
>> **
>>
>> *WHO SHOULD ATTEND?* http://www.w3.org/2013/socialweb/attend.html 
>> <http://www.w3.org/2013/socialweb/attend.html>
>>
>> A) 2^nd bullet .. "business" is misspelled:
>>
>> Companies interested in or already using social busiess models.
>>
>> B) 5^th bullet ... missing closing paragraph mark:
>>
>> Developers and software companies with experience of success in 
>> defining and implementing social web architecture components and 
>> solutions (including both experiences of success and failure in order 
>> to determine what went wrong, what needs to change
>>
>> ----------------------------------
>>
>> Hope this is helpful -- Ann
>>
>> Ann Bassetti
>> Associate Technical Fellow
>> Boeing Information Technology
>> Global Collaboration Technologies
>> mobile: +1.206.218.8039
>> email: ann.bassetti@boeing.com
>>
>