- From: Susan Lesch <lesch@w3.org>
- Date: Mon, 24 Apr 2000 01:39:01 -0800
- To: xsl-editors@w3.org
- Cc: w3t-comm@w3.org
Here are minor editorial comments for your XSL Last Call Working Draft [1] "work in progress." I have so far only read it once, and found remarkably few typos for such a long spec. Please feel free to use or ignore these, as you see fit. There are no suggestions for substantive changes here. Comments -------- It would be nice if when pointing to other parts of the spec. (e.g., "see the section on areas", or "please consult...") there was always a link. Traits, properties, and values are sometimes marked up, sometimes in apostrophes ('), and sometimes in double quotes ("). It would be nice if there was a consistent markup style for them all, throughout the specification. I wasn't sure if you intend to use the key words "SHALL" and "MUST" in accord with RFC 2119. If you do, there should be a mention of this in the Introduction with a link in References to http://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc2119.txt slice1 is a great introduction. You might include one even simpler diagram showing a formatting object, trait, property and value, with the parts labeled. The illustrations need "alt" text. Globally, since it's not a proper noun, "User Agent" could read "user agent." Also, "recommendation" could be "Recommendation". slice6 has a few candidates for ordered lists. In context, (1), (2), ... and (a), (b), ... are clear, but I wondered if you wanted OLs. In slice6, the trait value true starts out <code>true</code> and then in 6.5.3 and later becomes quoted "true" with no markup. Because this is a long and complex page, I'm in favor of markup for all occurrences, and possibly for all trait values. In slice7, "white space", "whitespace" and "white-space" appear. Which is correct? I'd make all occurrences match. In slice7, "Definition" and "Reference" don't need to be capitalized; each occurrence could read "CSS definition:", "CSS reference:" and "XSL definition:". Also in slice7, each "Property Derived from a CSS2 Property." can perhaps read, "Property derived from a CSS2 property". "Writing-mode Relative Equivalent of CSS2 Property." could be, "Writing-mode relative equivalent of a CSS2 property". Or, since they don't appear to be headings or members of a class, these could be sentences. A minor point: I didn't understand why the initial value for "format" (both in 7.32.1 and in Appendix C) is "1." rather than "1" or "1.0". Minor typos ----------- From here on, a section number is followed by a quote, and then some idea for an improvement. Comments are in brackets []. 1.1.2 par. 7 mark-up markup [It's a dictionary word.] 1.2.1 par. 2, 1.2.3 par. 1 and 2 side-bars sidebars [It's a dictionary word.] 1.2.1 last item XSL only XSL-only 1.2.5 par. 2 more, see more. See [or "more; see"] two directions, two directions: 2.2 last par. lower-case lowercase [It's a dictionary word.] 3. par. 3 (see [7 Formatting Properties] (see [7 Formatting Properties]) 3. par. 6 last list item attribute, attribute 3.1 par. 4 areas, instead areas; instead 4.1 par. 5 copied from property of the same copied from a property of the same 4.2.2 par. 6 dimensions dimensions. 4.3.1 list item 3 par. 2 there are at two there are two 4.14 [I didn't understand the purpose of the list of traits on areas.] 5.2 par. 2 Note conformance level; "complete". conformance level: "complete". 5.2 - last list, list item 2 initial-value initial value 5.3 par. 2 correspondance correspondence 5.3 - last "if" even-numbered lined: even-numbered lines: 5.3 last par., and 5.3.1 par. 1 correspondance correspondence 5.8.3 |Numeric | Numeric 5.8.9 RGB and ICC [spell out the first time they are used: RGB (Red, Blue, Green) and ICC (International Color Consortium)] 5.8.13.1 [... CSS2/syndata.html#x39] [CSS2 section 4.3.2] 0.28mm [approximately 1/90] [Was the reference pixel not changed to 1/96"?] 5.9.2 icc-color the an ICC Color Profile an ICC Color Profile 5.9.4 from-parent and from-nearest-specified-value expands; each expands, each 5.10 par. 2 a the "space-before" property the "space-before" property 5.10 par. 8 forms; the complete forms having forms; the complete forms have [or:] forms, the complete forms having 6.1 par. 1 See [3 Introduction toFormatting].The See [3 Introduction to Formatting]. The 6.3 external-graphic xml result tree XML result tree 6.3 simple-page-master up to five regions up to five regions. 6.3 table-cell in a table-cell. in a table cell. 6.4.1.2 - 2nd to last par. It is expected, that It is expected that 6.4.1.3 par. 2 We will say an An 6.4.1.5 region to which the flow is assigned, except that [This sentence is really long; here's one way to clarify:] region to which the flow is assigned with two exceptions: 6.4.7 Constraints need not be onto; need not be one to one; [?] 6.4.9 Constraints the sub-sequence of pages consist of the sub-sequence of pages consists of 6.4.11 Constraints par. 2 Since, the Since the 6.4.11 Constraints par. 3 and 4 trait is true, if trait is true if 6.4.11 par. 5 ["(1) if", "(2) if", "(3) if" might make more sense as "if (1)..., and (2)..., and (3)...".] 6.4.12 - 1st illustration [Could the white area around region-body be labeled?] 6.4.12 Areas - par. 2 appear; that is, appear, that is, 6.4.12 Constraints - 1st par. after 1st Note measured from "top" to "bottom" For measured from "top" to "bottom". For 6.4.13, 6.4.14, 6.4.15, 6.4.16, and 6.4.17 Common Usage ; that is, whether , that is, whether 6.4.13, 6.4.14, 6.4.15, 6.4.16, and 6.4.17 Common Usage clipped by the its parent clipped by its parent 6.4.13 Common Usage - 2nd Note that are to be placed on the same page. are to be placed on the same page. 6.4.13 Areas - last Note "rl-tb"writing-mode. "rl-tb" writing-mode. 6.4.13, 6.4.14, 6.4.15, 6.4.16 and 6.4.17 Trait Derivation - par. 1 value the reference-orientation trait value of the reference-orientation trait 6.4.14, 6.4.15, 6.4.16, and 6.4.17 Areas - last par. to to to 6.6.1.1.2, 6.6.1.1.3, and 6.7.1.1.1 Example result instance, and the stylesheet in 6.9.1.1.2 [Given the left margin, the longest line can run out the right side of a full screen window at 640x480. Possibly there is another way to break lines, for example:] </fo:initial-property-set>This is the text of a paragraph that is going to be presented with the first line in small-caps. 6.6.3 par. 3 semantic... are [can be "semantics... are" or "semantics... is"] 6.6.11 Constraints - par. 3 objects; one for objects, one for 6.8.1 - par. 1 after illustration role of containing the complete list and to specify values role of containing the complete list and of specifying values 6.8.1 - par. 4 after illustration ding-bat dingbat [It's a dictionary word.] 6.8.1.1.1 and 6.8.1.1.2 examples [You might keep the same order as the other examples: input, stylesheet, result.] 6.10.1.1 par. 1 First, so that during First, during [?] 6.10.3 Constraints - par. 2 "region-reference-area "region-reference-area" 7.2 last par. values in[5 values in [5 7.4.1 - fixed the top the viewport the top of the viewport 7.4.1 last line posiiton position 7.6.9, 7.6.12, 7.6.31, and 7.6.32 - <length-conditional> it's its 7.7.1 - <family-name> In the previous example [There's no example. Omit, say "[In the example given in CSS2]", or give example.] 7.7.3 Value ultra-expanded |inherit ultra-expanded | inherit [Also, in this property definition, the 'font-stretch' keywords are listed three times. To cut repetition, maybe the uncommented list could be omitted.] 7.8.1 last line code (these code; (these 7.8.5 Initial unicode Unicode 7.9.3 and 7.9.4 - <percentage> "...This is true for 'margin-top' and 'margin-bottom', except in the page context, where percentages refer to page box height." [Can this sentence be omitted for 'margin-left' and 'margin-right'?] 7.11.6 - before and baseline par. 1, and baseline par. after Note at least, one at least one 7.12.1 - <length-range> created, if minimum created; if minimum 7.12.4 par. 3 non replaced non-replaced 7.12.6 and 7.12.7 These two properties allow [It may be unclear that this means 'max-height' and 'max-width'. Could mention their names.] 7.14.3 auto codepoints codepoint 7.14.6 ([RFC2070]) [Needs a link to http://www.w3.org/TR/xsl/sliceD.html#RFC2070] 7.18.2 - XSL - auto if the User Agent if the User Agent if the user agent 7.19.5 groove and ridge , the other half ; the other half 7.20.1 active user. For example, user, for example, 7.21 Note when several nested fo:multi-switch objects builds when several nested fo:multi-switch objects build 7.30 - last par. of xsl-preceding and xsl-following It the current If the current 7.32.1, 7.32.2, 7.32.3, and 7.32.4 This property is defined in XSLT: Number to String Conversion Attributes. [Needs XSLT section number (7.7.1) and link to XSLT in References.] 7.34.6 - last par. & 7.35.1 - last par. of CSS2 [HTML40] [HTML4] or [HTML4.01] [and needs an entry in References] 7.35.6 - XSL 1st par. The phasing The phrasing 7.36.8 - last par. Changed initial value to visible (is "inherit" in CSS). Changed initial value to visible; (it is "inherit" in CSS). D.1 ICC. [I would spell that out: "International Color Consortium."] [1] http://www.w3.org/TR/2000/WD-xsl-20000327/ Best wishes for your project, -- Susan Lesch Intern, W3C
Received on Monday, 24 April 2000 04:38:31 UTC