- From: Tony Graham <Tony.Graham@Sun.COM>
- Date: Thu, 26 Jun 2003 15:28:43 +0100
- To: xml-dist-app@w3.org
General ======= - Names of element information items and attribute information items should be in monospace text in the manner of the SOAP 1.2 Recommendations - Change "Inclusion Mechanism" to "inclusion mechanism" in text (but not titles) since a "Mechanism" is not part of the SOAP terminology defined in SOAP 1.2 Part 1 - SOAP 1.2 Part 1 manages to not include namespace prefixes when referring to element information items, at least in part, because it prefixes most references with the word 'SOAP', e.g., "The SOAP Envelope element information item" instead of "The env:Envelope element information item". Is it possible to do something similar to replace the "xbinc:" in "xbinc:Include" in this document? 1. Introduction =============== - Paragraph 2: "from" should be removed from "nothing precludes from implementing it" (as noted by Noah Mendelsohn in the 25 June telcon) - Paragraph 2: "binding independent" should be "binding-independent" 1.1 Relation to other specifications ==================================== - Paragraph 1: "well defined" should be "well-defined" - Paragraph 1: in the sentence: However, it may be expected that this specification will supersede the [SOAP 1.2 Attachment Feature] specification once it has reached a stable state. it is not completely clear whether the second 'it' is 'this specification' or the 'SOAP 1.2 Attachment Feature'. 2.3 Abstract Transmission Optimization Feature Properties ========================================================= - Paragraph 1: change "defines a set of properties" to "defines the set of properties" - Table 1: change "A List" to "A list". - Table 1: change the title to "Property definitions for the Abstract Transmission Optimization Feature" to match the titles of similar tables in SOAP 1.2 Part 2. 2.4.3 Transmitting a message ============================ - Paragraph 1: change "hop by hop" to "hop-by-hop" 3.1 Introduction ================ - Paragraph 1: change "The Inclusion Mechanism expand upon" to "The inclusion mechanism expands upon" - Paragraph 3: change "The second part describe" to "The second part describes" - Paragraph 3: the second "related" in "a MIME Multipart/Related related packaging" may be redundant - Paragraph 3: there should be a reference to RFC 2387 here where "MIME Multipart/Related" is first used 3.2.2 href attribute ==================== - Paragraph 1: change "is used to refer the external data" to "is used to refer to the external data" 3.3 MIME Multipart Related Serialization ======================================== - Is it necessary to capitalise "Serialization" in text? 3.3.1 Introduction ================== - Paragraph 1: "with element information item serialized in compact form" should be either "with an element information item serialized in compact form" or "with element information items serialized in compact form" 3.3.2 Serialization of a SOAP message ===================================== - Paragraph 1: in the sentence: The SOAP message is serialized into a MIME Multipart/Related ([RFC 2387]) packaging, one body part, the root object, being an XML representation of the SOAP envelope, while other body parts contains the parts of the SOAP message transmitted in a compact form. consider changing packaging, one body part, the root object, being into either packaging: one body part, the root object, being or even packaging: one body part -- the root object -- being (where '--' is an ndash or mdash depending on editorial preference) - Paragraph 1: in the same sentence, the root object 'is' the XML representation but the other parts 'contain' other parts of the SOAP message. Either all parts should 'be' something or all parts should 'contain' something. - Paragraph 1: change "other body parts contains" to "other body parts contain" - Item 4: "httpo:Include" probably should be "xbinc:Include" 3.3.3 Deserializing a SOAP message ================================== - Paragraph 1: change "the deserializer MUST" to "deserializing MUST". Section 3.3.2 managed to not create a 'serializer', and this section should avoid creating a 'deserializer'. - Paragraph 1: change "provide an access" to "provide access" - List 1, bullet 3, paragraph 2: change "base64 encoded" to "base64-encoded" - Paragraph 3: change "the deserializer" to "the implementation" - List 2, bullet 2: change "if not body part" to "if no body part" 4.1 Introduction ================ - Paragraph 1: change "is a binding level feature, implementing" to " is a binding-level feature implementing" 4.3 Implementation ================== - Paragraph 1: change "and put the resulting" to "and puts the resulting" 4.3.2 Receiving a SOAP message ============================== - Paragraph 1: change "provide an access" to "provide access" Regards, Tony Graham ------------------------------------------------------------------------ XML Technology Center - Dublin Sun Microsystems Ireland Ltd Phone: +353 1 8199708 Hamilton House, East Point Business Park, Dublin 3 x(70)19708
Received on Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:26:37 UTC