- From: Gary Feldman <g1list_1a@marsdome.com>
- Date: Wed, 26 Jan 2005 09:28:07 -0500
- To: www-qa@w3.org
The first paragraph is worded awkwardly, and really needs to be clearer. If for no other reason, this should be done to set a good example, since clarity is one of the points of the paragraph. The subject of the first sentence has three prepositional phrases, which is two too many for a subject. Perhaps "A clear presentation of conformance is crucial to the ...." The reader should surely know at this point that conformance, in this document, is shorthand for conformance to specification. If not, then perhaps the second paragraph defining conformance should be moved to go first. The second sentence, while not technically run-on, is too verbose. "The conformance model, its description" is redundant in this context. In a sentence this long, the examples need to be split off into a second sentence. Here's a possible rewording: The conformance model and the language used for normative information determine the testability of a specification. They also influence the overall implementation landscape, ranging from a narrow conformance with few allowable variations in implementations to multiple conformance types, resulting in numerous conforming implementations. The model must be chosen carefully, to produce the intended implementation range. In the second paragraph, third sentence, I think "states all the criteria" should be replaced with "identifies all the criteria." A reasonable reader should not misinterpret this as implying that nothing outside the clause is necessary for conformance. Nevertheless, even reasonable readers may stumble over this, to figure out what it really intends. Even with the suggested change, I don't think this fully conveys the idea, but I'm also not sure that's needed. Gary Feldman http://www.marsdome.com
Received on Wednesday, 26 January 2005 14:28:12 UTC