- From: Shadi Abou-Zahra <shadi@w3.org>
- Date: Fri, 08 Apr 2011 11:18:16 +0200
- To: Shawn Henry <shawn@w3.org>
- CC: wai-eo-editors <wai-eo-editors@w3.org>, Denis Boudreau <dboudreau@accessibiliteweb.com>
Hi Shawn, Ref: <http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/PWD-Use-Web/2009/stories> I've made changes to stories to address your and Denis' comments. The changes are highlighted and we will discuss each during EOWG calls. Best, Shadi On 8.4.2011 00:41, Shawn Henry wrote: > Hi Shadi, > > Stories page is really good! Below are some content (as opposed to > copyedit) points. Feel free to send any of it to the EOWG mailing list > for discussion. > > Best, > ~Shawn > > > 1. Mr. Lee > > "Mr. Lee bookmarked a series of online shopping sites where he could get > reliable information on product colors or where he could override the > colors, and not have to guess at which items were discounted." > I don't understanding how overriding the colours would make him not have > to guess what items are discounted. Are you suggesting that he changes > the colours of the styles that indicate discounted for all the websites > he uses? That doesn't seem reasonable. > Maybe it's just a grammar thing. Does this work for what you want to > say?: [[Mr. Lee bookmarks the online shopping sites that list the > product colors, that let him override text and background colors so he > can make the pages easier to read, and that clearly indicate things like > discounted items.]] > > 2. Mr Jones > > 2.1. "some websites have forms and controls that do not have keyboard > equivalents." > I'm afraid that people might read this and think that every form field > and control should have an access key. Also, "keyboard equivalents" is > not explained here or on the other pages. > > 2.2. "In order for Mr. Jones to continue working with the publisher, web > developers built customized work-arounds into the CMS to add some of the > keyboard support that was initially missing. It is not an optimal > solution and only works for some of the functions, but the publisher > intends to upgrade the CMS to one with full keyboard support, especially > since other employees found that keyboard support was easier on their > hands." > When I read the first sentence, I was concerned that this recommended > doing work-arounds instead of fixing the CMS, and made it sound like > there was a lot of accommodation required by the organization's web > developers. Later in the paragraph I see that you've said the CMS should > have done it. But I think the ideas are too separated for some readers > to catch. I think that needs to be made more clear; that is, that the > extra work was required because the CMS was bad, and a good CMS would > not have the problem. > > 3. Ms. Martinez > > "They also found they can provide captions in other languages to support > international students, students who could not download or play the > audio, and many more." > The "many more" tripped me up. Sentence needs editing to clarify... and > reconsider if it really did help many more. > > 4. Ms. Laitinen > > 4.1. "To use her computer and the Web, Ms. Laitinen uses: > * Screen reader software that interprets what is displayed on the screen > and generates speech output > * Web browser with keyboard support to help use websites without a mouse" > Does she use keyboard support other than that provided by screen reader? > Do some (common) browsers not provide the keyboard support that she uses? > > 4.1. "It was a challenge to find a solution that was accessible to her > and to other employees with disabilities, but it proved to be beneficial > for many of the staff." > Do we need to say why it benefited other staff? > > 5. Ms. Olsen > > "She set her web browser to freeze or hide animated graphics so that she > can focus on the relevant information but that does not always work on > every website." > Do common browsers have such settings? Do we want to say why it works on > some websites and not others, or is that on another page? > > 6. Mr. Yunus > > "Another barrier that he encounters is CAPTCHA images that he finds on > several social networking websites. These distorted images of text are > intended to tell computers and humans apart, but Mr. Yunus cannot read > the small and distorted text, even if he enlarges the image." > Does "These distorted images of text are intended to tell computers and > humans apart," add unnecessary complexity? Or does the explanation help > here? > > 7. Mr. Sands > > 7.1 "Mr. Sands has put groceries in bags for customers for the past year > at a supermarket." > This sentence is quite awkward. I would say "Mr. Sand bags groceries..." > or "Mr. Sands works as a grocery bagger..." or "Mr. Sands has a job > bagging groceries..." Are any of these understandable to people in > different countries and non-native speakers? > Maybe: [[Mr. Sands has a job bagging groceries for customers at a > supermarket near his house.]] I'm not sure if the "for the past year" is > important. "near his house" is good because then he doesn't have to use > transportation and can carry groceries home easily. > > 7.2. "He found that he could use the website without much difficulty > because the items were clearly indicated, the information and > instructions were formulated in simple language that is easy to > understand, and the navigation was consistent and easy to use." > I can't think what you mean by "the items were clearly indicated"? > > 8. Ms. Kaseem > > 8.1 "She is deaf and recently became legally blind too... ...braille > device" > It seems this would be stronger if she was born with visually disability > (maybe progressive) and later becomes deaf. If she *recently* became > blind, she wouldn't know braille yet. > > "She is deaf and recently became legally blind too, but she can see > small portions of a screen." > This needs more explanation. Maybe should be both more broad about her > condition and more detailed about how it impacts web use. > > ### > > > > > > > > > > > > -- Shadi Abou-Zahra - http://www.w3.org/People/shadi/ | WAI International Program Office Activity Lead | W3C Evaluation & Repair Tools Working Group Chair |
Received on Friday, 8 April 2011 09:18:50 UTC