[wbs] response to 'EOWG Call for Review: WCAG 2.0 Presentation Directive Overview 1'

The following answers have been successfully submitted to 'EOWG Call for
Review: WCAG 2.0 Presentation Directive Overview 1' (Education and
Outreach Working Group) for Judy Brewer.



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Version
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Which version are these comments for? The version date is at the bottom of
the page, after "DRAFT in progress: Content last updated $Date:"



 * (x) Date: 2007/08/28 15:42:27





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Title
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Some ideas for title: 
WCAG 2.0 Presentation Directive Overview, 
WCAG 2.0 Presentation Instructions, 
WCAG 2.0 Presentation Directions. Do you have other ideas? What do you
think of these ideas?

Comments (or a URI pointing to your comments): 
* I prefer "...Presentation Instructions" as I believe it is
self-explanatory, and a good tone.

* I would not strongly object to "...Presentation Directions," but it
sounds more imperative and less informative than "instructions."

* I don't understand "...Presentation Directive..." The term "directive"
is commonly used in phrases such as "policy directive" and seems to have
the wrong sense here.




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Acceptance of WCAG 2.0 Presentation Directive Overview
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Based on the current version, please answer below. Note that you can
change your answer; for example, if there are edits later.


 * ( ) I accept this version of the document as is
 * (x) I accept this version of the document, and suggest changes below
 * ( ) I accept this version of the document only if the changes below are
implemented
 * ( ) I do not accept this version of the document because of the
comments below
 * ( ) I abstain (not vote)





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Comments
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Comments on the document, formatted as described above.

Comments (or a URI pointing to your comments): 
Most likely none of the following comments need WG discussion, but it is
handy to use this form, so....

1. priority: editor's discretion 
   location: last P under first H2
   current wording: "Note that the video is from June 2007 and some
information may have changed since then."
   suggested revision: Make this boldface
   rationale: This is very important information

2. priority: editor's discretion
   location: first P under second H2
   current wording: "...in order to avoid participants reading much during
a presentation"
   suggested revision: "...in order to avoid participants having to read
much during a presentation"
   rationale: more precise; the issue is that we don't want the presenter
to compell the audience to have to read a lot of text. also sounds better,
IMHO.

3. priority: editor's discretion
   location: first P under third H2
   current wording: "Make sure that you say verbally all of the
information that is on each slide. (This doesn't mean that you have to
read the text verbatim, just that you cover it in what you say.)"
   suggested revision: "Make sure that you say out loud all of the
information that is on each slide. (This doesn't mean that you have to
read the text word-for-word, just that you cover it in what you say.)"
   rationale: "Verbally" technically means "with words," not necessarily
"out loud"; "out loud" also might be more understandable to non-native
English speakers." "Word-for-word" is also most likely more understandable
than "verbatim."

4. priority: editor's discretion
   location: second LI under third H2
   current wording: "Please read the latest information in the WCAG 2 FAQ,
especially the update section."
   suggested revision: Make this boldface
   rationale: While it might not look attractive to make this boldface, as
it might chop up the visual flow of the page in this location, this is
important information. 

5. priority: editor's discretion
   location: second LI under third H2 (same location as above"
   current wording: "If the status of WCAG 2.0 documents have changed..."
   suggested revision: "If the status of WCAG 2.0 documents has
changed..."
   rationale: typo ("status" is the subject here & is singular)

6. priority: editor's discretion
   location: fourth LI under third H2
   current wording: "...the business case for accessibility, policies,
laws, or such."
   suggested revision: "...the business case for accessibility, policies,
laws, or similar materials." 
   rationale: more grammatical ("such" needs to modify something).

7. priority: editor's discretion
   location: one of last topics under fifth H2, "Contents Overview"
   current wording: "Call to Action"
   suggested revision: "Actions to Consider"
   rationale: seems more in keeping with the tone of the presentation.





These answers were last modified on 31 August 2007 at 04:22:15 U.T.C.
by Judy Brewer

Answers to this questionnaire can be set and changed at
http://www.w3.org/2002/09/wbs/35532/wcag20pres-cover1/ until 2007-09-05.

 Regards,

 The Automatic WBS Mailer

Received on Friday, 31 August 2007 04:25:06 UTC