- From: Shawn Lawton Henry <shawn@w3.org>
- Date: Tue, 11 May 2004 21:55:26 -0500
- To: "'wai eo editors'" <wai-eo-editors@w3.org>
[removed (SRI) here, will look at others - yet think double parenthesis are less confusing than different punctuation] 1. Under: Identifying Social Factors for a Specific Organization - Are there other programs or initiatives within the organization that overlap with social factors? The section that says "(and want to attract investors interested in socially responsible investing (SRI))." Usually there is a hierarchy of parens and you do not use the same paren twice i.e. it would be [(text)] or something like that. There are a couple of other places this occurs. I don't know what editing style you are using (APA, Chicago, some European style or or none but in any case it is generally not acceptable to use identical parens next to each other.) [DONE] 2. Under: Identifying Social Factors for a Specific Organization - Does the organization target other groups that benefit from Web accessbility? Last line "internet" should be capitalized. [left as is. other options do not convey the intended meaning] 3. Web Accessibility is a Social Issue - Web Accessibility is Essential for Equal Opportunity - Therefore, an accessible Web that allows people with disabilities to actively participate is essential for equal opportunities in many areas. A clearer read might be: Therefore in many areas, an accessible Web that allows people with disabilities to actively participate is essential for equal opportunities in many areas. Less Desirable Options: Therefore, in many areas an accessible Web that allows people with disabilities to actively participate in many areas is essential for equal opportunities. Therefore, an accessible Web that allows people with disabilities to actively participate in many areas is essential for equal opportunities. [changed to "Below are examples of how Web accessibility benefits others."] 4. Web Accessibility Benefits People with and without Disabilities Below are examples of aspects of Web accessibility that benefit others. Access for Older People Remove the double preposition, "of", by inserting one of the following words©. The examples below represent/convey/demonstrate/show aspects of Web accessibility that benefit others. [changed sentence structure] 5. Access for People with Low Bandwidth Connections to the Internet and Older Technologies (for example, mobile phone or personal data assistant (PDA)), Same issue as #1 above: determine style to eliminate use of same parens in double scenario. > -----Original Message----- > From: wai-eo-editors-request@w3.org > [mailto:wai-eo-editors-request@w3.org] On Behalf Of Charmane > K. Corcoran > Sent: Thursday, April 15, 2004 10:07 AM > To: wai eo editors > Subject: Comments on Business Case - Social Factors page > > > > 1. Under: Identifying Social Factors for a Specific Organization - > Are there other programs or initiatives within the organization that > overlap with social factors? The section that says "(and want to > attract investors interested in socially responsible investing > (SRI))." > > Usually there is a hierarchy of parens and you do not use the same > paren twice i.e. it would be [(text)] or something like that. There > are a couple of other places this occurs. I don't know what editing > style you are using (APA, Chicago, some European style or or none but > in any case it is generally not acceptable to use identical parens > next to each other.) > > 2. Under: Identifying Social Factors for a Specific Organization - > Does the organization target other groups that benefit from Web > accessbility? Last line "internet" should be capitalized. > > 3. Web Accessibility is a Social Issue - Web Accessibility is > Essential for Equal Opportunity - Therefore, an accessible Web that > allows people with disabilities to actively participate is essential > for equal opportunities in many areas. > > A clearer read might be: > Therefore in many areas, an accessible Web that allows people with > disabilities to actively participate is essential for equal > opportunities in many areas. > > Less Desirable Options: > > Therefore, in many areas an accessible Web that allows people with > disabilities to actively participate in many areas is essential for > equal opportunities. > > Therefore, an accessible Web that allows people with disabilities to > actively participate in many areas is essential for equal > opportunities. > > > 4. Web Accessibility Benefits People with and without > Disabilities Below are examples of aspects of Web > accessibility that benefit others. Access for Older People > > Remove the double preposition, "of", by inserting one of the > following words©. > > The examples below represent/convey/demonstrate/show aspects of Web > accessibility that benefit others. > > > 5. Access for People with Low Bandwidth Connections to the Internet > and Older Technologies > > (for example, mobile phone or personal data assistant (PDA)), > > > Same issue as #1 above: determine style to eliminate use of same > parens in double scenario. > > > > -- > > > MSU: Advancing Knowledge. Transforming Lives. > > Libraries, Computing & Technology: Connecting People and Information > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Have a Productive Day! > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Charmane K. Corcoran > Information & Project Principal > Michigan State University > Client Advocacy Office > 316A Computer Center > East Lansing MI 48824 > > E-mail: corcora1@msu.edu > Phone: Dept. Office - 517/353-4856 > Direct/Vmail - 517/355-4500 Ext. 244 > FAX: Office: 517/355-0141 > > HmPg: http://www.msu.edu/~corcora1/ >
Received on Tuesday, 11 May 2004 22:55:47 UTC