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Emacspeak goes commercial

From: T. V. Raman <ramantv@earthlink.net>
Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2000 09:41:30 -0800 (PST)
Message-ID: <14566.13514.470730.175746@localhost.earthlink.net>
To: w3c-wai-ig@w3.org
           Commercializing  Emacspeak

For Immediate Release:

San Jose, Calif.,  (April 1, 2000)
    Commercializing Emacspeak-2000: 
    --Laughing all the way to the bank and back.
    --Zero cost of ownership makes priceless software affordable,
    --But only expensive software can make  customers feel rich!

Emacspeak is a fully functional audio desktop that provides
complete eyes-free access to all major 32 and 64 bit
operating environments.  By seamlessly blending all aspects
of the Internet such as Web-surfing and electronic messaging
into the audio desktop, Emacspeak has enabled speech access
to local and remote information with a consistent and
well-integrated user interface.  After years of
unprecedented success serving free-loaders on the Internet,
the for-sale version Emacspeak is now poised to exploit
millions of gullible computer users across the world.

Free Speech And Commercial Emacspeak:

Emacspeak will continue to evolve as an open source system.
This is because the author believes strongly in the
principles of free speech.  However, using the edict
    "speech is silvern, but silence is golden", 
the free version of Emacspeak --while promoting free
speech-- will require users to pay for the much valued
feature of immediately silencing speech.

Speaking with Emacspeak Inc. new press contact Hubbell
(Bubbles) Labrador, the creator of Emacspeak pointed out
that if people wanted the right to silence free speech, then
they should at least be made to pay for it.  Investors and
venture capitalists alike welcome  this innovative
business model as a fresh approach to exploiting the power
and popularity of open source software.  Speaking
anonymously, several Silicon Valley investors have privately
voiced their opinion that when the company eventually goes
public, Emacspeak (NASDOG: ESPK) will be one of the hottest
(and perhaps loudest) IPOs of the millennium.

The company is currently in the process of patenting several
innovations including "one click silence" and "one blink
silence".  Going forward, the company expects this extensive
patent portfolio to contribute strongly to investor interest.

Emacspeak Inc. also plans to introduce future versions that
allow free-loaders to initially obtain their software fix
free --and later pay each time they request the system to
fall silent; investors are thrilled by this prospect because
it feels exactly like a mutual fund with a large (and
unending) back-end load.  Users wishing to pay a front-end
load needn't however feel left out; Emacspeak Inc promises
to introduces new bug-fixes and features (new bugs) on a
regular basis so that loyal users can pay their half-yearly
dues to obtain their upgrade-fix.

Opening Doors To A Windows-Free 2000:

Emacspeak is now (voluntarily) bundled with all major Linux
distributions.  Extensive studies have shown that users
consider Emacspeak to be absolutely priceless.  Thanks to
this wide-spread user demand, the present version is being
made available at the same zero cost as earlier releases.

And with the introduction of the for-sale version of
Emacspeak, it now becomes possible to mesure Total Cost of
Ownership (TCO) --something that was impossible when you
could not buy the software.  The company promises to
progressively reduce TCO while increasing the price of the
software in the future --this is likely to be popular
amongst  customers (CIOs)  and investors alike.  

At the same time, Emacspeak-2000 continues to innovate in
the area of speech interaction and carries forward the
well-established Open Source tradition of introducing user
interface features that eventually show up in commercial
user environments.  On this theme, when recently challenged
by a proponent of a crash-prone but well-marketed windowing
system with the assertion "Emacs is a system from the 70's",
the creator of Emacspeak expressed surprise at the unusual
candor manifest in the assertion that it would take popular
idiot-proof interfaces until the year 2070 to catch up to
where the Emacspeak audio desktop is today. Upon hearing
this, the said proponent of the crash-prone system turned
blue in the face (screen), crashed to the floor and refused
to get booted (ever again).

Industry experts welcomed this refreshing breath of Courage
Certainty and Clarity (CCC) at a time when users are reeling
from the Fear Uncertainty and Doubt (FUD) unleashed by
complex software systems backed by even more convoluted
press releases.

Independent Test Results:

Independent test results have proven that unlike some modern
software, Emacspeak can be easily uninstalled without
adversely affecting the continued performance of the
computer.  These same tests also revealed that once
uninstalled, the user stopped functioning altogether.

Speaking with Aster Labrador this morning, the creator
of Emacspeak pointed out that these results once again
emphasize the user-centric design of Emacspeak; "It is
the user --and not the computer-- that stops
functioning when Emacspeak is uninstalled!".

Note from Aster: (UnDoctored Videos  Inc. is currently looking for
volunteers to star in a video demonstrating such complete
user failure).


The decision to go commercial  is the start of a new 
chapter   in Emacspeak's checkered history.
Obtaining Emacspeak:

Visit Emacspeak at http://cs.cornell.edu/home/raman --You
can also pick up emacspeak via anonymous ftp from
ftp://ftp.cs.cornell.edu/pub/raman/emacspeak/.  You can
subscribe to the emacspeak mailing list
<emacspeak@cs.vassar.edu> by sending mail to the request
address <emacspeak-request@cs.vassar.edu>.

About Emacspeak:
Based at Cornell (NY) <http://cs.cornell.edu/home/raman>
--home to Auditory User Interfaces (AUI) on the WWW--
Emacspeak is mirrored world-wide by an international netwrok
of software archives and voluntarily bundled with all major Linux
distributions on CDROM.  On Monday, April 12, 1999,
Emacspeak became part of the Permanent Research Collection
on Information Technology at the Smithsonian's National
Museum of American History.

The Emacspeak mailing list is archived at
<http://www.cs.vassar.edu/~priestdo/emacspeak/> --thanks to
Greg Priest-Dorman.

About This Release:

This press release is certified to be Y2K compliant.
More importantly,  the software described is W2K free.

Press/Analyst Contact:  Aster Labrador

Windows-Free (WF)  is a favorite  battle-cry of 
The League Against Forced Fenestration (LAFF);
--see   http://www.usdoj.gov/atr/cases/f3800/msjudgex.htm
for details on  the ill-effects of Forced Fenestration.

CopyWrite  )C( Aster Labrador. All Writes Reserved.
WonderDog (DM),BlackDog (DM) and Labrador (DM) are Registered Dogmarks of Aster Labrador.
All other dogs belong to their respective owners.

Best Regards,

Email:  raman@cs.cornell.edu
WWW:    http://cs.cornell.edu/home/raman/             
PGP:    http://cs.cornell.edu/home/raman/raman.asc 
Received on Saturday, 1 April 2000 12:42:40 UTC

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