Re: EOWG: Please read/review latest business case draft before 2 April 2004 teleconference

At 2004-03-31 18:18, you wrote:
>We are close to wrapping up the business case resource suite.
>         http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/bcase/
>Please review and comment on the full resource suite before our 
>teleconference this week.


1. Overview: New version - posted late yesterday afternoon - I like it.

2. Social -- Barriers to Web Use -- bullet 4: To me, the link isn't clear 
between  "society's low expectations" and the following "lack of 
opportunities for training". Could/should this be separate bullets, with a 
short expansion on whatever we mean by "society's low expectations" in this 
context?

3. Social/Technical/Financial/Legal  -- with the exception of the Legal 
page, I find the sudden end of each document after its last bullet to be 
very abrupt and - from a narrative standpoint - unsatisfying.  Does anyone 
else think that a short paragraph of summation, or a sentence conveying 
"Well... now you have the w-factor building blocks for your business case. 
If you haven't already done so, visit our x-factor, y-factor and z-factor 
pages for more great stuff." would be of use?

4. Technical -- Reduce Site... -- bullet 1: I agree with @@ need to explain...

5. Technical -- Reduce Site... -- bullet 3: I agree with @@ need to explain...

6. Technical -- Reduce Server... -- bullet 1: "... by using text rather 
than images." @@ add "of text" or  change images to "bitmapped images of 
text".  Otherwise, literalists might assume we we are asking that all 
images ought to be replaced by text.

7. Technical -- Enable -- bullet 3: @@ HTML for structure... -- how about: 
@@ appropriate mark up (e.g. HTML, XHTML, etc.) for structure...

8. Technical -- Be Prepared -- bullet 1: Would a definition or alternative 
phrase be available for "syndication of information"?  That is a bit of 
jargon I am not familiar with, although I suspect it is equivalent to the 
amazingly nasty "multi-utilization of information".

9. Financial -- Identifying -- bullet 1 -- last sentence: Delete. I think 
that statement is redundant.

10. Financial -- Identifying -- bullet 3 -- Does the question read better 
as "At what stage is the organization's Web development?" or "What stage is 
the organization's Web development at?" ?

11. Financial -- Identifying -- bullet 4 -- "... cost savings in additional 
servers and in personnel..." -- don't we mean "... cost savings from 
reducing the need for additional servers personnel..."?

12. Financial -- Identifying -- bullet 4 -- sub-bullet 1: delete "possibly".

13. Financial -- Identifying -- bullet 4 -- sub-bullet 1: maybe just 
"potential costs" rather than "potential legal costs" because you are in 
the same sentence "defending against legal action".

14. Financial -- On-Going Costs -- Additional development time: I haven't a 
clue what this paragraph is saying. Can't think of a good rewrite either.

15. Legal -- Education -- para 1: delete "national". E.g. in Canada 
education is covered by Provincial requirements.  Just "government 
requirements" would be sufficient and inclusive.

16. References -- too drafty for comments.

Cheers,
Chuck Letourneau
Starling Access Services.