W3C home > Mailing lists > Public > public-webpayments-ig@w3.org > March 2015

Re: Comments on the Use Cases Draft

From: Manu Sporny <msporny@digitalbazaar.com>
Date: Mon, 30 Mar 2015 01:20:44 -0400
Message-ID: <5518DD2C.9070602@digitalbazaar.com>
To: public-webpayments-comments@w3.org
CC: Web Payments IG <public-webpayments-ig@w3.org>
Thank you for your review of the Web Payments Use Cases document, Shane.
I applied most every change you suggested, details below.

On 03/29/2015 01:05 PM, Shane McCarron wrote:
> General comment.  Some terms in the document are linked back to their
> definitions, and some are not.  Or rather, they are, but maybe not by
> relying upon the automatic linking that ReSpec provides.  This means
> that the terms are not “underlined” when they are formal terms. When
> printing the spec, that made it somewhat less clear.  Please use the
> standard <a>term</a> convention so that ReSpec does its magic.

I went through and did a massive search/replace, probably missing a
non-trivial number of terms. I was using the <tref> / <tdef> stuff that
you wrote years ago to do the auto-linking. Didn't know about the <a>
magic, but now do, thanks. :)

Fixed as many instances as I could find...

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/49dc217b3fa2c10df0ff731c35e2a3d337842118

> Introduction:
> 
> Both real and perceived has emdashes around it.  That’s fine, but I 
> would separate them from the text with spaces.

Fixed.

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/5eb8248f31edbc93467e90dd5ad9464464e720f7

> Paragraph 3 I would rewrite as:
> 
> 
> The W3C Web Payments Interest Group is developing a roadmap for 
> standards to improve the interoperability of payments on the Web. 
> This will help achieve greater interoperability among merchants and 
> their customers, payment providers, software vendors, mobile 
> operators, and payment networks.  The roadmap will include payment 
> schemes 
> <https://dvcs.w3.org/hg/webpayments/raw-file/default/latest/use-cases/index.html#dfn-payment_scheme>in
>
>
> 
use today (such as electronic cheques, credit cards, direct debit, and
> cryptocurrencies) and those of the future. The roadmap will be 
> derived from the use cases listed below.

Done.

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/5eb8248f31edbc93467e90dd5ad9464464e720f7

> Section 1.2:
> 
> “Section 6 lists the use cases, short scenarios…”
> 
> Change to “Section 6 lists the use cases - short scenarios…”

Fixed.

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/5eb8248f31edbc93467e90dd5ad9464464e720f7

> Section 2:
> 
> Payment processor needs a noun.  Change to “Entity that submits and 
> processes payments using a…”

Fixed.

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/5eb8248f31edbc93467e90dd5ad9464464e720f7

> Section 3.2:
> 
> Discover of Accepted Schemes.  Content is duplicated.  Rewrite as 
> “The payer discovers the payments instruments that are accepted by 
> the payee.”  The second sentence is redundant.

Fixed.

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/5eb8248f31edbc93467e90dd5ad9464464e720f7

> Section 4.2:
> 
> Discover of Accepted Schemes:  Change “the PayToParty loyalty card 
> and PayPal” to “the PayToParty loyalty card, and PayPal”.

Fixed.

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/5eb8248f31edbc93467e90dd5ad9464464e720f7

> Section 4.3:
> 
> Completion of transfer.  Remove the last sentence.  It isn’t 
> relevant.

Removed.

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/5eb8248f31edbc93467e90dd5ad9464464e720f7

> Section 6:
> 
> Throughout the section.  The printed version of the use cases is 
> formatted completely differently than the online version.  The 
> printed version is REALLY hard to read.  Please try to use the same 
> stylesheet.

Fixed the CSS issue with print (problem was a missing media query for
print).

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/7232b47fa7ae9c578874ba31de12bc4196ab14fb

> Section 6.1.1.1
> 
> Hold Funds:
> 
> Exceptions: Is the software acting on the behalf of the Payer or the 
> Payee?

It's acting on behalf of the payer.

No change.

> In-vehicle:
> 
> Sexy, but maybe add a risks section about distracted driving?

I added this to the accessibility section:

"""
It is important that the interface used to interact with the digital
offer does not distract the driver of the vehicle. For example, the use
of voice controls is preferred over a visual interface that requires the
driver to look away from the road.
"""

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6

> Section 6.1.3:
> 
> Loyalty Cards:
> 
> Motivation:  Change “augment” to “effect” or something.  Augment 
> means increase or supplement.  We are talking about discounts.

Fixed.

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6

> Section 6.2.2:
> 
> Manual Selection:
> 
> Change Claire’s story to “Claire has multiple credit cards from the 
> same bank, as well as one debit card from another bank.” if that is 
> what was meant.

I don't think that's what was meant, changed to:

Claire has one debit card and multiple credit cards from the same bank.

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6

> Change David’s story  - use the word arrange instead of order.
> Order is confusing in this context.

Fixed.

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6

> Section 6.2.3:
> 
> KYC / AML - expand abbreviation in title.

Changed to "Regulatory Blocks".

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6

> Section 6.2.3.1 <http://6.2.3.1/>:
> 
> Rico’s story needs a period at the end.

Fixed.

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6

> Motivation:  Change “authentication can be used to instead of” to 
> “authentication can be used instead of”.

Fixed.

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6

> Section 6.3.1. <http://6.3.0.1/>:
> 
> Payee-initiated:
> 
> Removed “sort of broken security model” in favor of “risky security 
> model”.

Like, reworded... for sure.

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6

> 6.3.2: Hold Verification:
> 
> Motivation:  extra comma.

Removed.

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6

> 6.3.4: Motivation: Change to “vary according to the payment scheme.”

Fixed.

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6

> 6.3.4.1 <http://6.3.4.1/>: Notifications:  Change to “Gavin sends an 
> electronic check…”

Fixed.

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6

> 6.4.2: Electronic Receipts: Motivation:  Change to read “file tax 
> returns”.

Fixed.

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6

> Physical Receipts: Accessibility: change “along-side” to 
> “alongside”.

Fixed.

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6

> 7.2: Delivery of Product/Receipt Change “massage” to “message”.

No, see... in the future, all receipts will be transmitted in the form
of interpretive massage. :P

Fixed.

https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6

-- manu

-- 
Manu Sporny (skype: msporny, twitter: manusporny, G+: +Manu Sporny)
Founder/CEO - Digital Bazaar, Inc.
blog: The Marathonic Dawn of Web Payments
http://manu.sporny.org/2014/dawn-of-web-payments/
Received on Monday, 30 March 2015 05:21:14 UTC

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