Re: FW: Please review: Draft Call which includes Use Cases

Great, Mark;

"practicioners" should be "practitioners"

All else Looks Great!

Sean Stapleford
SStapleford@TecAccess.NET
Senior Assistive Technology Tester
TecAccess - http://www.TecAccess.NET/
(804) 749-8646

----- Original Message -----
From: "Markku T. Hakkinen" <hakkinen@dinf.ne.jp>
To: "Marja-Riitta Koivunen" <marja@w3.org>; "Public-Wai-Rd"
<public-wai-rd@w3.org>
Sent: Wednesday, October 15, 2003 11:58 AM
Subject: RE: FW: Please review: Draft Call which includes
Use Cases


>
> Thanks Marja!
>
> Comments, anyone?
>
> Here are some quick comments:
>
> > 2. Introduction
> >
> > Occasionally Web users need to make sense of complex
information
> > and large data sets.
>
> "Occasionally" didn't seem right. Here is an alternate
sentence:
>
> "The web is home to a growing and dynamic source of
complex information and
> data sets from many domains."
>
> > This information includes scientific measurements,
information
> > of models, demographic information, information of Web
communities,
> > relationships between Web pages, and Web metadata.
>
> Some rewording of the above sentence:
>
> "This information includes scientific measurements,
financial data,
> modelling and simulation results, demographic information,
and metrics
> describing the web itself (communities, metadata, and
relationships between
> pages)."
>
> > Researchers try to develop innovative graphical
presentations of the
> > information (visualizations) to make it easier for a
user to see what is
> > happening with one glimpse, make comparisons in several
dimensions, and
> > find irregularities or anomalities from the information.
Especially
> > visualizations try to 1) help users see new, interesting
information or
> > relationships between data or 2) help illustrate
structures and known,
> > useful relationships.
> >
>
> Since we try to include "practicioners" in our audience, I
tried to include
> them, along with a few other changes:
>
> "Researchers and practicioners are seeking to develop
innovative graphical
> presentations of information (visualizations). Effective
visualization can
> make it easier for a user to quickly ascertain trends,
make comparisons in
> several dimensions, and detect irregularities or anomalies
in data.
> Visualizations can help users see new, interesting
information or
> relationships between data, and illustrate structures and
known, useful
> relationships."
>
>
> That's all I have for now... Comments?
>
> mark
>
>

Received on Wednesday, 15 October 2003 14:32:42 UTC