Re: Proposed slides for presentation to Jules' forum

Dear Brendan and Mike,


thanks a lot for your helpful and constructive comments. I addressed all
comments.

Brendan: The picture of the table with compression artifacts seems
better in PPT and the garbling seems to be caused by my PDF export with
minimal size. Maybe Mike has a higher-resolution version.

Enclosed is an updated version. Once it is stable, I will distribute the
PPT for potential re-use by others.


Regards,
matthias





On 23.02.2017 23:10, Brendan Riordan-Butterworth wrote:
> Matthias,
> 
>   Took a quick look through.  
> 
> Page 2,5,11 – "W3C TPAG" should probably be "W3C TPWG".  
> Page 2,5,11 – "ÉU" should probably be "EU".
> Page 3 – Consider including "#terminology.activity" in TPE Sec 2.2 hyperlink.  
> Page 3 – Does the target audience know that "Fingerprints" are probabilistic device identifiers?  Describing the tech is more in line with the preceding examples of mechanisms (cookies, IPs) than the text "privacy invasive".  
> Page 4 – "Notice" section: "what data is collected" should probably be "when and by whom data is collected"; "how it is used" gives the impression of post-interaction feedback, consider "server intentions for data usage".  
> Page 4 – Consider "Allows users to present opt-in and opt-out signals to web tracking systems" instead of "Allow users to opt-in and opt-out of web-tracking".  
> Page 9 – Title should include the word "some" between "at least" and "aspects".  
> Page 9 – Significant image compression artifacts on the table. 
> 
>   Hope this helps.  
> 
> /brendan.
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Matthias Schunter (Intel Corporation) [mailto:mts-std@schunter.org] 
> Sent: Thursday, February 23, 2017 12:16 PM
> To: public-tracking@w3.org (public-tracking@w3.org) <public-tracking@w3.org>
> Subject: Proposed slides for presentation to Jules' forum
> 
> Dear TPWG,
> 
> thanks a lot for your inputs!
> 
> Enclosed are some draft slides that I would present next week.
> The audience seems to be a group of privacy officers from corporations.
> 
> Feedback/comments are welcome!
> 
> Matthias
> 
>