Re: editing suggs for Social Biz Workshop pages

Hi:

I would suggest that:

*On Goal and scope:*
Substitute any word "problem" by "challenge" instead.

Problem has a negative aura means that there is something is not working,
challenge is something you want to overcome.


Alberto Manuel
http://ultrabpm.wordpress.com/
http://pt.linkedin.com/in/albertomanuel

BPM Conference Portugal
http://www.bpmconferenceportugal.com/



2013/5/15 Bassetti, Ann <ann.bassetti@boeing.com>

>  *HOME PAGE: * http://www.w3.org/2013/socialweb/Overview.html ****
>
> ** **
>
> A) First bullet of 2nd para, **are** should be deleted:****
>
> What are the use-cases and requirements **are** driving social business
> and what is its overall architecture?****
>
> ** **
>
> B) 3rd bullet of 2nd para, **what** could be deleted, OR the sentence
> re-written per the second example, below:****
>
> Current:  Are there the current problems facing social business and
> **what** technologies that could and should be standardized?****
>
> ** **
>
> Proposed:  What are the current problems facing social business and which
> technologies could and should be standardized?****
>
> ** **
>
> C) Last bullet, should "Pubsubhubbub" be capitalized, as "PubSubHubbub"?**
> **
>
> ** **
>
> D) In the list of the Program Committee:****
>
> -- Amit Goel, University of Central Floria <http://www.ucf.edu/> ..
> .Florida is misspelled****
>
> -- Ashok's last name is misspelled...  should be "Malhotra" (from Oracle)*
> ***
>
> ** **
>
> ** **
>
> *GOALS AND SCOPE:*  http://www.w3.org/2013/socialweb/topics.html   ****
>
> ** **
>
> A) Last sentence, 3rd paragraph, missing something in last sentence:****
>
> This will take the place of a final report for the workshop and a possible
> draft Working Group charter(s). produce a roadmap with a possible draft
> Working Group charter(s) towards.****
>
> ** **
>
> B) 1st sentence, 4th para, is awkward ... too long; runs on:****
>
> The scope will be open, but with a focus on social business; as one area
> where these technologies are already used with great effect is the emerging
> field of social business, as championed by the W3C by the W3C Social
> Business Community Group <http://www.w3.org/community/socbizcg/>.****
>
> ** **
>
> C) Last para, 2nd to last sentence, 2 points:****
>
> Based on the findings of a W3C Social Business Jam<http://www.w3.org/2011/socialbusiness-jam/report>,
> a a task force and the W3C Social Business Group<http://www.w3.org/community/socbizcg/>created a draft
> map<http://www.w3.org/community/socbizcg/wiki/File:Social_ppt-JeffJ_intro_for_AC_v3-1.pptx>of the landscape.
> ****
>
> ** **
>
> a) "a a task force"****
>
> ** **
>
> b) The link to the "map" of the landscape currently goes to Jeff's PPT
> presentation from AC meeting last year, within in which is embedded the
> diagram.  I suggest pulling those pages out, posting them separately
> somewhere, so there can be a direct link to the diagram(s).****
>
> ** **
>
> *PARTICIPATION:* http://www.w3.org/2013/socialweb/participate.html ****
>
> ** **
>
> A) You probably know that "@@wiki" is awaiting a link, under "Experessions
> of Interest"****
>
> ** **
>
> B) In the 2nd bullet list, 2nd bullet:****
>
> Overasll social Business architecture****
>
> ** **
>
> a) "Overall" is misspelled****
>
> ** **
>
> b) Seems like "social Business" should either both be capitalized, or
> neither****
>
> * *
>
> *WHO SHOULD ATTEND?* http://www.w3.org/2013/socialweb/attend.html ****
>
> ** **
>
> A) 2nd bullet .. "business" is misspelled:****
>
> Companies interested in or already using social busiess models.****
>
> ** **
>
> B) 5th bullet ... missing closing paragraph mark:****
>
> Developers and software companies with experience of success in defining
> and implementing social web architecture components and solutions
> (including both experiences of success and failure in order to determine
> what went wrong, what needs to change****
>
> ** **
>
> ----------------------------------****
>
> ** **
>
> Hope this is helpful – Ann****
>
> ** **
>
> ** **
>
> Ann Bassetti
> Associate Technical Fellow
> Boeing Information Technology
> Global Collaboration Technologies
> mobile:  +1.206.218.8039
> email:  ann.bassetti@boeing.com ****
>
> ** **
>
> ** **
>